Getting Real about Breastfeeding- It Hurts...Even When You do it Right!

I'm a big time breastfeeding advocate. Let's be clear. Breast is best always, and I think every woman should at least try to exclusively breastfeed. That said, I'm sick and tired of all the bogus claims going around that nursing doesn't hurt, and if it does, it's your fault.

I was given some La Leche League literature upon being discharged from the birth center after Ben was born. Everything I read said, breastfeeding shouldn't hurt. If it does, your baby is latched incorrectly, and you need to change that to avoid sore nipples.

I've done this twice now, and let me tell you, it hurts- EVEN IF BABY IS LATCHED PROPERLY! Maybe some women get away with not feeling any discomfort, but in my experience that is not the norm. This is what happens when you breastfeed.

• Constant suckling on the nipple dries out the skin. This is a simple truth. The same way your lips become chapped if you lick them too often. It drains the moisture. Heavy application of Lansinoh cream can help, but it will not solve the problem. No matter how perfectly baby is latched, you're still drying out the skin- no avoiding it.
• Dry skin leads to cracking and/or bleeding. My nipples were cracked and bloody for both of my boys.

No big surprise, dry cracked nipples are sore nipples. It hurts while baby latches on, and while baby nurses. I made sure to do everything right with this most recent experience. Ben nursed tummy to tummy, had as much of the areola in his mouth as possible, lower lip pouted/good tongue action, with his chin massaging the breast with the jaw action. I could hear him swallowing, and I knew he was well latched. Didn't matter.

A week after his birth, the soreness began. My nipples began peeling. I liberally slathered on the Lansinoh. I'd cry, blubbering to my husband who wished so much to help. I looked at my little boy nursing so eagerly, clenched my fists and tried to find a happy place. Nipples continued to dry, and cracking began during the 2nd week. Soon a little blood began coming out with the milk. By week 3-4, the nipples were beginning to toughen, and scabs appeared. This was gross, as Ben would be nursing, and start coughing as a scab came off into his mouth- yuck! Nursing still hurt, but the pain was beginning to decrease. The latching process hurt, but the pain eased as he began suckling. By week 5, the scabs were gone, and nursing was no longer gross or particularly uncomfortable. It's been great ever since. Ben is 4 months old and still exclusively breastfed.

I advocate breastfeeding, but I don't approve of women being lied to about it. Moms try breastfeeding, can't manage to "do it right," become discouraged because it's not supposed to hurt, and quit. They think they're the only ones going through the misery of the first few weeks. First timers don't have a light at the end of the tunnel. They don't know that they're only a week or 2 away from pain free nursing.

Why can't we be honest with moms?! Yea, it might hurt like hell. But that's normal and will improve sometime in the first 6 weeks or so. You're normal for feeling pain. You're not doing anything wrong. You're giving your baby the best nutrition possible. So, white knuckle grip that Boppy pillow and power through. Those nipples will toughen, and soon it won't hurt as much. You might not believe it during week 3, but someday you'll love nursing, and someday after that you'll really miss it.

Check out this oh, so beautiful post from another mom (Metropolitan Mama) who endured the pain for her baby.

Breastfeeding can hurt. It's not always your fault. It's SO WORTH IT!

A-B-C...It's Easy as 1-2-7?

It's hard for us as proud parents not to compare our kids to those of our friends from an early age. From the time our babies are born, we're on Facebook bragging to the world about how soon little Timmy rolled over or said his first word. As our little ones reach preschool age, our pride in them can lead us to compare their academic achievements with others.

Is John below average? Deborah's daughter is 4 months younger than him, but she can count to 20. John barely gets to 5. There must be something wrong...

Do you ever find yourself experiencing this type of thought pattern? I think most of us do from time to time. Honestly though, preschool learning has very little, if anything to do with success in upper levels of school. This Wall Street Journal article discusses the potential benefits and drawbacks of our preschool system. In fact, one of the lasting effects of preschool education is a minor increase in behavioral problems.

Preschool is popular, not for the benefit of children, but rather for the convenience of parents. Kids can get all of the structure and socialization necessary through parental teaching and parent arranged playdates. Because many parents choose to or need to work, however, preschools have become the norm, with 2/3 of four year olds attending them.

How can you be sure that your child will be ready for kindergarden if you choose to opt out of preschool? Easy- teach them yourself. This is the most sensible solution for stay at home parents. Unfortunately, it's not always easy. My stubborn just turned 3 year old has been nearly impossible to teach. He learned his colors and animals quite easily through life experience- me pointing out a red balloon or a horse or whatever. When it comes to actually sitting down with him and convincing him to try to learn something, though, forget it.

He can count to 10. I've heard him do it. Will he do it if I ask him to? Absolutely not. If I try to force the issue, he'll turn into a blubbering mess. Colton's always been one to learn on his own terms. He was a late walker, but the day he started walking, he could do it well, along with running and walking backwards. Same thing for potty training- I knew he could do it long before he knew. The week he potty trained, he would be dry all day and all night. He won't try to do something unless HE knows he can do it. If he has any degree of uncertainty, he will flat out refuse to try. It's a really frustrating aspect of his personality, and one that I hope he can work through as he gets older.

For this reason, I've taken a laid back approach to his homeschooling. I bought the rigorous curriculum packed full of fun activities, but it'll have to wait. All kids mature at different paces. We work on letters and memorization as he is open to it. I don't want to turn him off to learning completely. He loves to use the iphone to trace his alphabet and learn letter sounds. He can take control of his own learning without worrying about failing in front of anyone. I hate that he's afraid of failing in front of me. He shouldn't be embarassed or scared to try. I'm always positive and encouraging, but I think it's just something that he needs to grow and mature out of.

I know that he learns some in his Sunday school class, but definitely not at the pace of the other, slightly older kids in it. First kid is always experimental. We'll see how things go, but I'm hoping that we'll get better at it and be able to homeschool through elementary levels. If anyone has any tips to share, I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Cloth Diapering Lesson 1- Using Prefolds

Ok folks, I never thought I'd be the type of mom to use cloth. I'm just not that crunchy. Yea, I breastfeed, use alternative vaccine schedules, and make my own baby food, but I don't limit myself to organic products, don't worry about GMOs and don't cloth diaper...until now.

When we got pregnant with Benjamin, it became a matter of necessity, not a feel good thing for the environment or my baby's bum- though I still don't like finding those gell beads on them from disposables. If we were going to afford this 2nd baby, I would need to exclusively breastfeed, and use cloth to reduce our diaper bills. So, I use cloth during the day, and 2 or 3 disposables at night. This saves us about 6 daytime disposables every day. That adds up. Oh, and I use disposables when we're out of the house, cuz carrying around poopy cloth diapers is just yucky. I might get over that someday, too, though.

So, what do I use? The world of cloth diapering has gotten quite large. It's not your grandma's flats with safety pins and rubber pants any more. Let's see, there are flats or prefolds with covers, all in ones, all in twos, pocket diapers, and a lot more. You can get soakers to use with prefolds; you can use flushable liners to catch poopy. You can even skip washing almost all together by using biodegradable/flushable inserts with covers. This is going to pretty much eliminate the cost efficiency of it, though. For our family, the cheapest and easiest solution was prefolds (we like Osocozy Unbleached Indian Prefolds) with covers (Thirsties Duo Wraps are our faves).

I bought all of our products on Amazon.com, and spent about $100 to hold us through the first 6 months (hopefully). This included 1 dozen infant sized prefolds, and 2 dozen regulars, as well as 5 covers (4 Thirsties, and 1 Blueberry). I like the Blueberry cover as well, but it did cost more, and was not suitable for him until he got to about 12 lbs. The leg gussets are still a bit loose at 14 lbs.

So let's get started. First, lay the prefold flat underneath baby's bum. I like to fold the edge down about an inch for extra protection for those wild breastfed poops. Line the edge up about to baby's belly button level.

Ok, I'll be demonstrating an angel wing fold. Other suitable folds for catching breastmilk poop include the jellyroll and bikini twist. For the angel wing fold, you'll fold each side of the prefold to the center, creating "wings" up to the waist. Here, I'll show you...

Great! Once you get to this point, just pull the folded material up through baby's legs snuggly. My diapers are still a bit big, plus I like added absorbancy in the front for my boy, so I fold the front down as well.

Once you do this part, it's just a matter of hooking it all together with a Snappi. I didn't mention Snappies earlier, but I got mine off Amazon, as well.

The angel wing fold is great because the wings form gussets that hold nice and tight to baby's thighs.

Now just snap or velcro your cover on over the prefold. Be sure to tuck in the prefold, so that none of it is showing out of the cover. Otherwise, you'll leak.

Now, you're done! That's one type of fold for one style of cloth diapering. I''ll get more in depth and discuss various other folds and options another time. Thanks for reading; be sure to tell me your favorite fold  or favorite cloth diaper! And a big thanks to Benny for his cooperation :)

Growing Bigger and Better

Yes, it's been a long time without any updates. I'm now a work-at-home mama with two precious boys. Benjamin joined us on July 26 of this year. His birth was astounding, but we'll get into that in a different post. For now, let's just update on where we are now.

My Colton is a rambunctious and loveable 3 year old now, growing into a fantastic little person in his own right. We're gradually introducing homeschooling into his daily routine, so stay posted for updates on that.

Benny has been the most laid back and pleasant child that I could have imagined. He nurses beautifully, and at 3 months, is still exclusively breastfed. We've also joined the wonderful world of cloth diapering. I'm sure I'll be posting in more detail my thoughts and experiences with that.

For us, though, it was an economic necessity. Like I said, I do work part time from home, and we rely on that income for some bills. Should we have waited on number 2...maybe, but not really. I wanted my kids to be 2-3 yrs apart to give each other a playmate. We had enough income to get by, as well as health insurance, so we're not completely stupid. Money is still tight. As long as the economy keeps limping the way it is, money is still going to be a struggle for us. There aren't any raises in the near future for hubs I'm sure. The love in our home makes it worth it every day. As long as we've got each other, we'll get by.

We just celebrated our first Halloween as a foursome, and I am so excited about the upcoming holidays with my beautiful family. I'm also really hoping to carve out time at least once a week to do a bit of blogging. I write for money these days, so it's nice to write and share about my own life. Great to be back!