Two years ago, I was 8 months pregnant and alone. Well, not quite. I had a wonderful sister-in-law who moved in with me. Emotionally, however, I was in knots. I was awaiting the most exciting and terrifying occurance in my life to date, but my support system was gone, aside from nightly phone calls.
The Story
We got pregnant thinking that life would be smooth sailing. Clint brought home a great paycheck, we had a home with 2 empty bedrooms, and money in the bank. We didn't know what hardship was. Did real life ever sneak up on us and slap us upside the head when Clint lost his job? Oh, yea. Even with his years of experience and expertese, there was no job to be found in our city, or even state.
Then came Texas. Clint applied all over the country for positions, and got a phone call from the h.r. department of an enormous company that had an opening in their San Antonio office. The next thing you know, I'm in labor and frantically calling him to get on a plane back to Florida ASAP.
We never wanted to move across the country. Our families are all here in FL, and nothing but uncertainty waited for us in Texas. With my mom and 2 1/2 week old son, we boarded a plane and headed west. My mom left a few weeks later after helping us get settled, and I cried for days. I've never lived more than a 45 minute's drive from my parents, even in college.
We had a rough time of it. We had very few friends, and I was incredibly lonely. Clint's job was stressful, and mine was even worse. I called my mom at least once a day, and often bothered Clint at work, when I needed talked off a ledge (Either our baby was going out the window or I was). I'm mostly joking on that one, I was stable enough not to ever seriously consider something crazy like that. I did get overwhelmed pretty frequently. I think 6-8 hours straight of daytime screaming would do that to anyone.
A year ago, we made the decision to come home. We weren't %100 percent that he'd have a job waiting for him, but we took the leap anyway, and fell flat. We lived with family for 6 months while he worked at a grocery store. Then we took the plunge and moved back into our house (that had been rented while we were gone). Didn't know how we'd pay for it on his salary, but we went for it anyway. Then things got even worse and his hours were cut. After 2 weeks of that, we got the fantastic news that he would be rehired at his old company. The rest is history.
A Learning Experience
Looking back on it, I am glad that we made that big move, and that I had the opportunity to learn and grow as a person and in my faith.
- I learned to be a mom. I had no help (except for my mom's visits, and Clint's weekend efforts). This pushed me to my emotional and mental limits. I've learned through trial and error (mostly error) what works and what doesn't. Like not to fight him when he's a fussy wreck. Get in the truck and go for a coffee. Change of scenery is vital for maintaining sanity. Now that I'm home with family, I'm having such an easier time that I can even juggle caring for him with a part-time writing job.
- I learned to jump without a chute. My faith grew by leaps and bounds during the whole experience. We learned that you can't always see what's at the bottom of the cliff. Sometimes, you have to pray, then close your eyes and take a giant leap. God has promised good, and will not let us fall. It was about time we started really trusting Him.
- I learned to pray with power and conviction. I can pray expecting a result, not just begging, whining, and hoping for one.
Clint and I also really strengthened our own relationship throughout everything. It snapped us out of newlywed phase and really tightened our bond. I think trials and tribs either break couples or make them even stronger. We're sure not broken ;)
Here's to the Future
I don't know if our troubles are over for a while, or not. But, frankly, I don't care. We're not going to base our life decisions out of fear, but rather out of faith. Whatever comes our way, we'll conquer it.
God is good all of the time!
