One Year Later

It's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since my son came into the world. We celebrated his birthday at the park surrounded by family and friends. He's the light of our lives, and I am treasuring every moment, because time is flying by so quickly.

Accomplishments

• First steps- about a week after his first birthday.


• Talking- "mama" "dada" "bye-bye" "kiss" "baw (ball)"


• Crawling-army style at 5 months, all fours by 9 months


• Throwing a ball- 11 months


• Rolling a ball- 9 months


• Stacking blocks- 11 months


• Waving bye-bye and gesturing come here- 10-11 months


• Playing in the swimming pool- 6 months; now it's his favorite thing

These are just a handful of the things my boy has been up to this past year. It's amazing how much change has taken place to get my helpless infant with no vocabulary, head control, or expressions to where he is today- a confident, happy, healthy, playful little boy.

A New Start

I've been unplugged from blogging for the last few months as we've been involved in a cross country move. Now that we're semi-settled, I'll be happy to continue to share advice and adventures as frequently as permitted. We're living close to family again, and the joy that surrounds our son is such a beautiful thing.

The Re-birth of the Stay at Home Mother

In the 1960's when women were so bravely fighting for equality in the workplace, I'm sure none would have imagined the next generation's response. Women's participation in the workforce has climbed steadily from 40.8% in 1970 to its peak of 57.5% in 2000 according to US Bureau of Labor stats. What happened after the year 2000, however, has been a steady rise in mothers choosing to abandon the workforce to raise children. The percentage of stay at home moms has risen by 15% in less than 10 years. That's quite a statement

So what does it mean? Modern moms are realizing that the power driven business world can't replace or erase their natural instincts to love and nurture their offspring. Some women overcome this hinderance to have fulfilling work and family lives. I'm not knocking it, as my own mom was a terrific working mom. Should women have the option to work and make fortunes? Of course they should, but it shouldn't be a requirement. More and more women are realizing that they are not backwards for desiring hearth and home above the workplace.

So, are we all June Cleavers? Some would spread this notion. This CBS 60 Minutes report discusses how stay at home moms are failing to use their capacities and that this is detrimental to society. These moms are not uneducated, but intellegent, well-educated, successful women who apparently are screwing up the world by choosing to raise children. Really, CBS, really?

Are we really disrespecting the previous generation? Or are we learning and growing- expanding upon what they've done even if taking it in a different direction? There will always be women in positions of power. The broader culture, however, is realizing that we don't all have to be suit-wearing, ball-busting, empowered women to find purpose and fulfilment in life. Maybe it's closer than our foremothers could have imagined- in our childrens' smiles.

Keeping a Healthy Weight During and After Pregnancy

There is no set amount of weight that women need to gain to grow a healthy baby. I started my pregnancy at a healthy, normal bmi. My obstetrician told me that between 20 and 30 pounds is what I needed to gain. Meanwhile, at 36 weeks gestation, at a weight gain of 18 pounds, my maternal fetal specialist sent a note to my ob that I was not gaining enough weight. She told me to ignore that comment, as my baby was measuring completely normal, and I'm the one who has to tote around all the unnecessary(non baby related) lbs.My total weight gain up to 38 weeks when I delivered was 24 pounds, and this yeilded a 6 lb 3 oz baby. That's on the small end, but if he had finished baking and stayed put until the full 40 weeks, I would have had a perfectly average 7 pounder.

I think appropriate weight gain has a lot to do with the kind of body condition you have when you become pregnant. If you're underweight, you should attempt to acheive a healthy weight before conceiving. I needed a healthy weight because I lost 10 pounds the first trimester. If you're already thin, you don't have a buffer in case you do get sick and lose weight. You also want to make sure that you gain healthy weight.

Overweight women need to get into shape before pregnancy. Pregnancy is hard enough on your feet and back without extra weight. Maintaining a healthy weight also makes conception easier.

Even if you eat healthy and exercise, keep a healthy body throughout pregnancy, losing the weight afterwards can still be an uphill battle.

• Breastfeed. Breastfeeding is healthy for your baby, and it also burns calories. Don't use it as an excuse for a free-for-all diet though. Eating healthy combined with breastfeeding can speed your weight loss.


• Make time to eat right. When I was a brand new mom, it was fast food and frozen dinners for the first month or so. I had no time to cook, and the hubby was working hard and hungry when he came home. So, we did what was easy. I think this was where I got off to such a slow start in my weight loss journey. All the breastfeeding in the world won't make up for Big Macs, Taco Bell, and frozen lasagnas night after night. Make healthy casseroles on the weekend when you have help that will last you a few days. Pasta also keeps for awhile, so make a lot of spaghetti or pasta salad. You can also freeze individual portions of meals you make on the weekend to microwave and eat throughout the week.


• Walk, walk, walk. New moms typically don't have time or energy to hit the gym 3 times a week. So put your baby in a carrier or stroller and get walking. It's a great way to exercise and get out of the house and do something. If walking doesn't yeild quick enough results and you are fit enough, try jogging. You'll need a jogging stroller for that, as typical strollers don't have enough shock absorbtion.


• Set goals, but be realistic. My son was born in October. I thought I would be back in my skinny jeans by Christmas. Was I ever disappointed. I'm happy to say that I am now, 9 months later, in my skinny jeans, and only 6 pounds away from my goal. Also, be flexible. Eat healthy and the scale and your jeans will reward you...eventually. Don't give up, but don't starve yourself either in a rush to get thin. Lose the weight gradually and be healthy. This will also help you keep the weight off.

1st Birthday Ideas

Why Bother for a 1 yr Old?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about birthday parties, as my little man is just a couple months away from his first one. A lot of people seem to think that parties at this age are just for the parents since the babies won't remember. I think there are a lot of great reasons to have a big party for a first birthday.

It's a huge milestone, and though your baby won't know what's going on or remember, a 1st birthday party provides a lot of opportunities for photo and video memories. Time goes by so fast, you should take every opportunity to celebrate milestones and record memories.

Birthday parties are also a great way to form a circle of friends for you child who are about his/her age. My son doesn't have a lot of baby friends, so I'm going to take the opportunity for his 1st birthday to invite some of my acquaintances who have children around his age. Hopefully invites to their parties, and playdates will arise from this, and I can respark some old friendships in the process.

Themes
Do you even need a theme for a birthday party? Absolutely not. Any get together with hats, cake, and presents is a fun enough occasion. Many parents, myself included, have more fun planning a theme party. They certainly don't need to be complex at this age, however.

A zoo theme is a lot of fun and you can get creative planning it. Make zookeeper passes for the invitations. Get ahold of some animals for the kids to pet. Obviously you don't need an elephant. If you know people with goats, ponies, snakes, rabbits, etc... these are great animals to have. They are different from regular dogs and cats, but common enough that you should be able to track some down. There are places which rent these types of animals for parties as well, if you're willing to pay. Gift bags can be decorated with different animals- zebras, lions, tigers, etc... Go wild with it and have fun!

TV shows are another option for themes. Dora the Explorer and Sesame Street are just a couple of ideas. Even though your baby probably doesn't "watch" these shows, they make fun themes. I know my son always perks up when he hears the Plaza Sesamo (Spanish Sesame Street) song start to play. We watch a few kids' shows (English and Spanish to expose him to foreign languages early) on weekends, and that's his favorite song. Your baby might have one too that you've noticed- go with it.

You can also go with simpler themes, such as primary colors. Party supplies will be much cheaper than if you go with something like Dora, but the atmosphere will still be fun and festive. Or you can choose one animal for a theme- maybe from your baby's favorite toy or stuffed animal- moneys, teddy bears, cows, puppies, or whatever.

Enjoy
My number one tip is to enjoy the party. Don't get so hung up on coordinating details that you miss out on precious moments of your baby's special day. The cake will get messy, streamers will fall and balloons will pop. Let it go, and focus on your son/daughter on that day. You don't want to miss a thing.

Dogs with Small Children

When checking out some Web sites with top family dog lists, I came across this one. These are the top ten on the list:

1. Newfoundland





2. Pug


3. American staffordshire terrier (mislabled on the Site as a Staffordshire bull terrier)
   
4. Labrador retriever


5. Keeshond


6. Golden retriever


7. Collie
   
8. Standard poodle


9. Bernese mountain dog


10. English bulldog (they don't specify English or American, but the picture shown is an English)

I have some big issues with this list. Let's start with the pug. Pugs absolutely do NOT belong in homes with small children. While they are not agressive, their prominent eyes are very vulnerable to injury from the prodding of toddlers' fingers. I am glad to see that the staffordshire popped up on most of the family breed lists I came across. They are not the same breed as pit bull terriers (which are not all bad anyways), and definately deserve consideration. I have no experience personally with keeshonds, but have heard good things. Collies are not all Lassie. Their coat requires a great deal of maintenance which busy families may not be able to provide. These dogs also have a tendancy to be yappy, which can be frustrating with babies/children napping during the day. Bernese mountain dogs have fantastic dispositions, but with a thick double coat, they are unsuitable for warm climates, and shed profusely. As strong willed working dogs, they require a good deal more training than most families have the time to do.

My own top 5 would look something like this:

1. Standard Poodle- I was shocked to see the poodle fall so low on many top 10 lists. They are hypoallergenic- a BIG plus in a lot of families, but do require regular professional grooming as the coat does not stop growing. A lamb or puppy cut is a great way to keep your poodle's coat if they are not to be shown. They have great dispositions with lots of patience, but are also playful and lively to entertain older children. They were originally a sporting dog, but since this heritage is so far removed, they lack the persistant need for stimulation that many family dogs (such as labs) retain. A poodle will be happy curled up on the couch watching soap operas, or chasing the kids around outside. A wonderfully versatile breed, the standard poodle is my top pic.



2. Golden/Labrador Retriever- This one is a toss-up between the two. My personal preference as the proud mama to a yellow lab is obviously the labrador. The golden, however, seems to be a bit quieter than the lab, as well as less needy. If you own a labrador, it will be in your lap a large portion of the time or dropping a tennis balls at your feet constantly. A golden will doubtless want to play, but may be less persistant, and happily lie down if you ignore him. Both dogs shed quite a bit, but the hair of the golden is much more visable on your floors, and a golden will need more regular grooming as well as occasional trimming.




3. English Bulldog- Quick! Somebody on drool patrol! English bulldogs are a jolly and good natured breed, and although it won't bother the kids, the drooling can bother some adults. These dogs don't have the activity level to suit many active families, but for those who don't want a labrador retreiver roaring through the house knocking over everything in sight, an English bulldog is a great, couch potato dog.



4. Pembroke Welsh Corgi- The corgi is a great fit for families who want a smaller dog. Many small dogs are fragile and can be nippy with rough children. The corgi, however, is a great fit for families with children of all ages and is hardy enough to put up with rough playtime (though children should always be supervised with any dog).



5. Mixed breed- This one might really belong at the top of the list. Mixes are often very good family dogs. Usually mutts inherit the best personality traits of both parents. I had 2 mixed breed dogs growing up, and own a mixed breed now who is fantastic with my 9 month old, and has been since day 1. They tend to have very high pain tolerences and lot of patience. If you adopt a dog from a shelter, be sure to perform some basic behavioral tests to ensure that the dog is suitable. Many dogs who have suffered abuse or neglect have issues that make them dangerous around small children.

Remember that all dogs have their limits. No young child should ever be left unsupervised with a dog of any size. Socialization and basic training, even with little dogs, is crucial to ensuring that your dog is able to be the best family member which he/she can be.

Boredom with a Baby

If you're like a lot of new stay-at-home moms, you probably spend a good portion of the day trying to keep your baby entertained with the same old toys in the same rooms as you did every other day. You're not the only one who becomes bored with the routine. Babies get bored too. That toy that was brand new 3 days ago has lost its thrill, and you're at a loss as to how to keep your child interested in his/her toys and away from the things he shouldn't be playing with- dog toys, magazines, etc...

Outings

But where can you take a baby? They can't do anything. A trip to the park or playground might seem pointless as your little one is too small for the slide and monkey bars. Even if your baby can't play on any of the equipment, he or she will probably get a big kick out of watching the other children running around, screaming, and playing.

Walking is a fantastic way to not only burn calories, but also entertain your bundle of joy. Front baby carriers such as this one and wraps/slings like the Moby wrap work wonderfully for small infants. Framed backpack style carriers are great for older babies who will enjoy the bird's eye view that they have from these. Make sure to dress your baby appropriately for the weather- including a hat and sunscreen. If you're out of shape, walking is a good way to get back into shape. Just start with short distances, and you'll learn to enjoy the time you spend with baby enjoying nature together.

Making the Most of Toys

Obviously, you can't buy your baby new toys every time he/she loses interest in the current selection. What you can do, however, is keep things fresh. Make use of a toy chest or closet space to put his/her toys on a rotating basis. When boredom sets in, hide the old toys and bring out some toys from storage that he/she hasn't seen in awhile. Although, they aren't brand new, they are exciting as little one hasn't seen them in a few weeks. I keep about two or three fun electronic toys in my son's toy chest, giving him only one at a time. This toy is in addition to the smaller toys (blocks, balls, cars, and trucks) that he gets to play with every day. I change out the exciting toy once per week or so, and it keeps him more entertained than if he had access to all of them all of the time.

Amazing Obstetrician

So, check this out!

I could only dream of having an obstetrician who was this caring and open minded. My own ob was terrific and I love her. But she is like most doctors-set in her ways. I never thought to ask about pitocin at one of my appointments.

I figured if my labor stalled or I needed an induction, the topic would arise. I never thought that the virtual moment I walked into my LDR room I'd be started on a drip. The nurse typed in my info, checked my cervix, started me on iv fluids, and strapped the monitor on. Once I had a few contractions, the nurse told me they would give me a little pitocin, just to "tighten my contractions up to 2-3 min apart" as opposed to the respectable 3-5 which they had been. I tried to protest, citing that I'd rather walk if my contractions needed upping. Nononononono, I was told. I was to lie there so that they could get good readings on the baby and make sure he was responding well. Basically, "don't rock the boat." The nurse assured me that once my contractions got going they could taper me off of the pitocin. Ok...... A few hours later I found my pitocin being upped by the second shift nurse. At this point, has my doctor even seen me? No, but apparently my labor isn't hopping along fast enough. Will definately be making a point to discuss this issue early on with the next pregnancy.

I thought obs who believed in hypnosis, and labor without epidurals in general were just like unicorns- nice to imagine, but not real. It makes me think about finding another doctor. I do love my doctor. She's very nice, makes a point to ask me if I have questions, and even prods me if I don't ask much. She was very encouraging during the actual delivery, and checked up on me quite a few times after the birth. Not to mention, almost all of my female family members go to her and she attends my parents' church, so if I ever felt I had to switch...yikes!

So, what have your own childbirth experiences been like? Did your ob or midwife handle your pre-natal, labor/delivery, and postnatal care in a way that you liked? What would you have changed?

Natural Sex Selection

I recently purchased the book How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby which outlines the Shettles method to gender selection. The basic premise is that male sperm (XY) are smaller and quicker to reach the egg than female sperm (XX). XX sperm are larger, and therefore, hardier and longer lived than their male counterparts.

The Race is On
According to this theory, if a couple has sex on ovulation day, or very close to it, the chances are very high that one of the quick little male sperm will reach the egg first, and a boy will be conceived. If a couple has sex a few days in advance of ovulation, the male sperm will exhaust themselves and die off after a day or two of hard swimming. This will leave a higher concentration of stronger XX sperm waiting when the egg is released. The chances of conceiving a girl will be much higher in this scenerio.

Acidity Factor
Another big factor in determining which sperm have the advantage is the acidity level of the environment (vagina). Shettles argues that male sperm (being smaller and weaker) have less tolerance for a highly acidic environment than the larger female sperm. They prefer an alkaline space. How is this achieved? Female orgasm. If the woman orgasms during sex before the man does, her vagina will be more welcoming to male sperm. If the woman does not orgasm, the environment will be far more acidic. This will favor the female sperm, making conception of a girl more likely.

Personal Experience
The Shettles method makes a lot of sense to me. We used an ovulation prediction kit when conceiving our son. This pinpoints the hormone surge which precedes ovulation by a day or two. We waited to attempt to conceive that cycle until the hormone surge was detected. This means that the sperm were depositited fairly close to when I was going to ovulate. Viola! We conceived a boy!
I'm not sure if we're going to use the Shettles method or not for our next attempt at conception (whenever that may be). We would love to have multiple boys, but a girl next in line would be comforting. That way, knowing we had one of each, we wouldn't care if the 3rd was a boy or girl. As much as I love my son, I really would rather not have 3 boys. We'll get what we're meant to have, so I don't know if we can really control anything anyway. If the Lord wants me to have all boys, I'll have all boys, and if I'm to have 2 girls and a boy, or 2 boys and a girl, than that's what will happen. The book has been interesting, though, and I've enjoyed reading it.

MMRV Vaccine Linked to Febrile Seizures

photo: flickr by Salim Virji

I've already made my thoughts on America's vaccination policy known, but this latest tidbit which I've been made aware of takes the cake. As I am not currently vaccinating my son, I was unaware that an MMR/Varicella combo vaccine was even available. After reading about it straight from the CDC Web site, I wonder why in the world that it is. The MMR vaccine is controversial enough without adding a fourth component. But here we go...

More Side Effects

The MMRV shot comes with an increased risk for fever and rash, with 1 out of 5 vaccinated children suffering these side effects. Rash doesn't worry me too much, but fever is often a more serious matter than physicians lead parents to believe. The most serious issue related to fever is the risk of seizures and related brain damage.

Febrile Seizures

Those who receive the MMR have higher risk for febrile (fever induced) seizures than unvaccinated kids, but the MMRV poses twice the risk of the MMR alone. The Varicella vaccine by itself has not been shown to cause febrile seizures. Here's what the CDC says about febrile seizures:

Although febrile seizures can be frightening for the child's caregivers,
most are harmless. The majority of children who have febrile seizures recover
quickly and have no lasting effects.

Where are the statistics? What the heck does "most" mean? Do you mean that 51 out of 100 children will have no lasting effects, or 10 out of 100? I wonder how parents of children who have suffered permanent brain damage thanks to a vaccine related seizure feel upon reading these words. I can't help but feel as though the CDC is trying to pat me on the head and tell me to trust them. On what planet are seizures of any kind not a big deal???

Here are the most recent MMRV recommendations from the CDC.

Why do We Need MMRV?

If the MMR vaccine works just fine and has half the risk of MMRV, and the Varicella vaccine has no risk, than why are we combining them and upping the risk? What's wrong with 2 shots instead of one if it is safer for our babies?

Be advised that this next statement comes from a highly jaded, government distrusting, conspiracy warey, and insanely protective mother. They're trying to hog tie us into an all or nothing vaccine. Moms are getting more involved and more informed. We know that we can choose which vaccines are appropriate for our kids. This is terrifying the pharmacutical companies. Drug companies have already stopped producing seperate measles, mumps, and rubella vaccines, so that parents are forced to give all or nothing to their kids. Now, they are on a mission to force us to vaccinate for chicken pox (typically harmless childhood sickness) too if we want MMR coverage. Personally, I think chicken pox poses less of a threat to my child than seizures do, but hey, maybe I'm crazy. The drug companies want their money, and they've got the CDC doing all the dirty work. The big drug companies don't care if a few casualties happen on the way to their paychecks. The government protects them as patients are not allowed to sue drug manufacturers due to any vaccine related side effects.

Oh, my. I'm getting a bit worked up, aren't I? Enough of my ranting...

What Do You Think?

The Ins and Outs, Dos and Don'ts of Flying with an Infant

photo: flickr by Kossy@FINEDAYS'

I like to think that my son has become quite the little veteran at taking plane rides. His first flight took place at 2 1/2

weeks old. I wouldn't advise exposing a newborn to all the germs of an airplane flight, but we were moving, and it was necessary. We took an hour and a half flight, followed by a 2 hour flight. His next experience was at 5 months of age. We took a 45 minute flight, followed by a nearly 3 hour flight, then the same for the trip home. We'll be flying again in about 2 weeks. Here are some tips I've picked up along the way...

1. This one is absolutely critical. Book a morning flight. Always, always, always fly in the morning with an infant. My husband and I made the mistake of taking a flight which did not land until around 10 pm. As good as your baby might be, do NOT mess with bedtime routines. Our son screamed his lungs out for 20 minutes before finally falling asleep on that flight. Meanwhile, on morning/afternoon trips, he has happily played and napped through them.



2. Be prepared to nurse or bottle feed on demand. My baby has never showed discomfort from the pressure change, but some babies have a harder time. If your little one likes a pacifier, be sure to bring a few. If breastfeeding, don't forget a nursing cover to provide modesty while nursing in such close quarters.



3. Bring quiet toys. A little noise is ok- rattles and keys are a lot of fun to bang on the tray. A giggling Elmo or constantly singing stuffed animal, however, may be much more bothersome to other passengers. If your baby needs this, though, use them, because no toy noise is as bad as a fussing baby.



4. If baby gets bored with the toys you brought (I recommend packing one or two brand new ones) ask the flight attendant for a plastic cup. It is something new and interesting that may at least entertain your little one for the time being.



5. Relax. There is a real possibility that your child will have meltdown if your flight is of any substantial length. Babies cry- it's just what they do. How you handle yourself is much more important. Take deep breaths and try not to let your baby sense any stress you're feeling. Ignore glares from other passengers. Most of the time, however, other travelers are sympathetic rather than judgemental. Just do what you would normally do around your own house to calm him/her. Walk the aisle if you're able. Sing a lullabye. If nothing works, just wait out the storm. Despite what you may think they don't scream forever. Other passengers can just get over it.

My Natural Birth Story with No Sugarcoating

From long before I became pregnant, I had determined to give birth without pain medication. I was afraid of the needle, as I had a spinal tap as a child and remember well the sensation of that awful procedure. I also knew that epidurals, while for some women speed up labor, often can prolong labor or cause it to fail to progress, leading in some cases to a c-section. The C word was my worst nightmare. I've never been operated on, and with a few more children down the line, I knew that there was a high likelyhood that if I needed a section with the 1st baby, I would need one for subsequent children. As far as other drugs, I didn't want anything to come into my blood stream as it would then transfer to my child. Nurses called me brave (though I think they meant stupid) and my doctor told me to keep my options open. Most of my family said get the epidural. I promised myself I would give my son the best start in life that I was able to give him, come hell or high water.

Tues. Oct 13

• 38 week checkup, dialated 4 cm, anterior cervix still fairly thick

Wed. Oct 14

• 10am- wake up, lie in bed feeling typical morning contractions, had been contracting most mornings for the last week or two



• noon- mild contractions persist irregularly about 10-15 minutes apart, have never had contractions last past getting out of bed before so I am beginning to wonder if this is it



• 1 pm- call hubby in TX and tell him to get his plane ticket immediately and come home, have a feeling that this baby is coming soon



• 9:30 pm- pick up hubby from the airport with family, contractions now 7-10 minutes apart, contractions now quite uncomfortable and having a hard time standing through them



• 11pm- go to sleep despite persistance of contractions getting harder to ignore

Thurs. Oct 15

• 2am-awakened by uncomfortable contractions, I begin timing them at roughly 5-7 minutes apart



• 2:30am-I wake up husband and we continue timing as they steadily tighten up to 5 minutes apart



• 3am- heading off to the hospital, this is it, as I run around the house making sure I have everything the contractions become far more painful



• 3:30am- en route to hospital, contractions lessen in intensity and frequency



• 4am- check into labor/delivery, hooked up to iv and monitors, I'm told my contractions are 3-5 minutes apart, I'm checked and told that I am 4 cm dilated and 50% effaced, baby at 0 station, oxygen mask administered in order to get the baby responding better or something then removed after about 10 min.



• 5am- pitocin drip starts in order to tighten up my contractions to 2-3 minutes apart, intensity of contractions is building making it difficult to talk through them, breathing and relaxation help immensely



• 8am- cervix checked to be 4 cm (I'm very dissappointed) and 90% effaced (nurse says I'm almost fully effaced and dilation will happen quickly once this happens, yay!)



• 10am- cervix checked to be 6 cm and fully effaced, pain still bearable with concentration



• 11am-water breaks, cervix checked- 8 cm, ob is called, pain suddenly hits a new level as I enter transition phase and contractions are about 1 minute apart, I begin contemplating pain meds but husband helps me stay strong, pain gets to the point that at one point I believed that I would die, screaming, hair pulling, pull-ups on hubby's arm were all I could do



• 11:15am- terrifying pain level, cervix checked at 9 cm, nurses jumping around in the hall yelling for someone to get my doctor here now, urge to push begins



• 11:20am- urge to push is strong, cervix checked at 10 cm- fully dilated, still no doctor, am told by nurse to cross legs and not push



• 11:30am- am pushing a little bit whether nurse likes it or not- out of my control, feels so good to push and do something to alleviate the contraction pain, this stage is much less painful than 8-9 cm was



• 11:40am-finally obstetrician arrives and I am given long awaited permission to push, baby's head came into view after the first contraction and I'm told he has lots of light hair



• 11:45am- crowining, not too much pain



• 11:53am- whoa! the head is out, extreme discomfort in that region (though not a "ring of fire" as expected), and a bit of fear as I realize that he can't slip back in now- I have to do this right now, I ask my ob "Can I get him out on the next contraction?", she answers "That's up to you." Wow, up to me? that fired me up but good



• 11:55am- contraction begins, I scream "Get him out nooowww!" and bear down with all my might



• 11:56am- shoulders, body, legs, feet, onto my chest, a quick thank you prayer to the Lord, then oh, my gosh, he's here! I held him and cried.

What happened next

I wish my story ended with that happy moment, but unfortunately, I still had a great deal of pain ahead. I cuddled my little boy delightedly as hubby cut the cord. The doctor sat down there coaxing out the placenta. She asked me to push a few times, but I had no strength left to be of much assistance. My son was then taken to be weighed/measured and my husband went to watch. The placenta came out, but to my bewilderment, the doc said that all of it didn't detatch on the right side. She said she would have to put her hand in me to get the rest. Horrified, I repeated, "Your whole hand inside?" She nodded her head with sympathy. My husband left our son with the nurses and rushed back to my side when he heard, and held my hand tight. My doctor said she would count down from 10. My husband recalls that I screamed as though I'd been shot. The pain that swept up and down my body was 10 times more severe than what I had just been through giving birth. Our bodies are designed to give birth, and though it hurts, it's a natural process. This, however, was the most unnatural, painfully gruesome experience which I have ever gone through. "...3...2...1" She kept her promise, and I felt the immediate relief as she pulled her hand out of my uterus. Thank goodness, she had retrieved the rest of it. I was done...oh, wait! Not quite yet.

I had suffered 2nd degree tears in 3 directions (nice handiwork, son) and my doctor spent the next 45 minutes repairing me. So, instead of sharing in the joyful celebration with family upon my son's arrival into this world, I'm lying there being poked with a needle. She numbed me of course, but it kept wearing off quicker than she could finish me, so I felt a lot of pricks. Although, compared to the nature of what had been done to me before this, I wasn't phased.

Birth rarely goes the way you would expect it to, although, next time I shall discuss the pitocin issue with my doctor beforehand. Hopefully I can avoid tearing, but there are no guarantees on that or the placenta detatchment. You just have to know that even the worst case scenario (yes even a c-section) would be more than worth it to have your bundle of joy in the end.

Ideal Child Spacing

I know that there are conflicting theories on how tightly to space your children. My husband an I won't even be considering conceiving baby no. 2 until economic and housing factors work themselves out, but it is something I like to think about it.

Tight Spacing

Those who favor back to back children with spacing under 2 years argue that siblings who are close in age tend to form twin-like bonds which last a lifetime. They always have a friend and playmate. There is probably less jealousy felt amid siblings close in age. A 14 month old wouldn't feel the same jealousy as a 3 year old would upon the arrival of a new baby. The longer a child has his parents' undivided attention, one could argue, the more difficult it will be for him/her to accept a sibling without resentment. At the same time, an older child can understand mom and dad's explanation that they are not replacing him and that they don't love him/her any less, whether or not he/she believes the explanation. A toddler would have a harder time understanding this.

Large Spacing

Leaving large gaps between children has advantages as well. Mom and dad get a lot of time to enjoy each child as an individual, and each child develops a tight relationship with his/her parents as a result of all this attention. Second children are also less likely to feel overshadowed by older siblings if there is a larger gap. There is less competition when siblings are spaced further apart. Unfortunately, gaps of over 3 years tend to mean less interaction between siblings. By the time the second baby is born, baby number one has acquired his/her own set of friends and will probably not be as anxious to bond with the new sibling, plus they play with entirely different toys, and would have very little in common. There is also a tendancy of parents to abuse the situation later by depending upon older siblings too much for babysitting and taking care of the younger ones. The oldest children need time to be kids as well.

Personally...

My husband and I, as previously mentioned, are not in a position to tightly space our kids even if we wanted to. We are amid a job change and relocating to a different state right now. Thankfully, I would not want my kids to be less than 2 years apart. I think the children would absolutely share a remarkable bond. There would also be a lot more bickering and scrapping for attention with such a small gap. My main reason for not spacing my kids tight is that I'm not willing to give up my first child's babyhood. I want to treasure every precious moment of his first years. If all goes well for us in our new location, we plan to try for a second child to be about 2-2.5 years younger than our son. I figure that gives us pleanty of time to enjoy our son, but also allows for the two to share things in common and enjoy playing with eachother.

Extended Breastfeeding- How Long is Too Long?

ABC ran a story on 20/20 last year concerning "extaordinary breastfeeding." The first mother to be analyzed was a mother of 3 in the UK who was breastfeeding her twins. She and her husband talked about how outsiders called it weird, and that her children were far too old to be nursing. So how old were they? The twins were only 2 and half years old! Considering that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding to 2 years and beyond, I would fail to see how nursing 2.5 year olds qualifies as "extraordinary" or out of the realm of normal.

The next mother featured was an American nursing a 5 year old. She nursed her two older children until age 6 and they seem to be well adjusted, independent kids, now aged 12 and 9. The 5 year old was darling and referred to his mom's breasts as "nummies." He nursed one or two times a day, primarily for comfort. Is this normal? The average age of weaning globally is 4 years old. So, if you consider that, than this child is within range. You must also consider that a large percentage of four year olds and older who are nursing live in third world countries where breastmilk is important nutritionally because there is so little food.

The final mother was a UK woman who was nursing an 8 year old girl. Personally, I find this to qualify as extreme. The woman had nursed her older daughter until age 5 when the girl chose to stop. The 8 year old weaned herself shortly after the footage was recorded. The girls seemed to have both developed an unatural fascination with their mother's breasts- drawing pictures of them, naming them, and playing with them outside of nursing.

In all three circumstances, I must say that the breastfeeding was mutually desired by mom and child, with husbands who were all supportive of their wives' decision. Americans are also incredibly shallow when it comes to the female breast. We exploit it all over television as a sexual thing to sell merchandise, but most Americans seem to cringe at the idea of a toddler nursing at his mother's breast. This is what they were designed for! We seem stuck to the idea that babies get no benefit from breastfeeding beyond age 6 months. The American Association of Pediatrics even sets a lower standard than the WOH of breastfeeding for at least 1 year and beyondas opposed to 2.

So what's too much? Where do you draw the line? Is it ok for a 2.5 yr old to nurse, but not a 3 yr old? I plan to breastfeed my own son until he self weans or until I become pregnant with/or have my next child, so he'll probably be weaning somewhere around age 2 or anytime before that if he wants to stop. If I wasn't planning subsequent children, I can't imagine breastfeeding past age 2.5-3, but everyone has their own comfort level. I think that breastfeeding an 8 year old is very extreme and possibly damaging to her emotional well-being. But I really don't know where the line in the sand is. Is it ok to b.f. a 4 yr old, but not 5? Or 5 but not 6? etc.. What do you think?

Napping Schedules

So, my son (9 mos.) took two half hour naps yesterday...that's it. Now, I've never been one for enforcing naps, but this morning I am wishing he had slept a bit more yesterday. He woke up early and full of joy, but only an hour and half after waking up, his exhaustion began to show. After about 20 minutes of fussing and fighting the urge to sleep, however, down he went for an hour of slumber, waking happier than ever. I can't help but remember the glory days when he would talke two 4 hour naps per day, plus a few catnaps. He did that up until about 8 weeks of age.

Why I Don't Enforce a Schedule

My issue with schedules is this, I don't want to force him to nap if he's happy and content to be awake. Yesterday, this was the case. He didn't nap much, but he was happy and playful all day. So, today, I'll make sure that he gets enough naps to be happy and pleasant. In this situation, he won't ever have a fixed napping schedule. I should have a rough idea of whether he needs an hour nap or less based on his previous day's/night's sleep, but there is no set in stone schedule. He sleeps well at night, so I don't want to force him to sit in his crib and cry if he'd be content to play.

Perks of Schedules

My own mother is always a bit surprised at how loose I am with his schedule. She worked and had my brother and I in day care 5 days a week, so we adopted a strict schedule. Then on weekends, she could enjoy babies that had a well formed routine, and were almost always well rested as long as given their set naps. As a SAHM, I have more liberality in allowing my son to help show me when he needs a nap. Sure, sometimes I think a schedule would be great. I could put him down for guaranteed naps twice a day for a fairly standard length of time.

Benefits of Baby Led Naps

There are also good things about my method (or lack of one). My son doesn't get cranky when we're out and about and 'naptime' rolls around. If he's not tired, he doesn't fuss. A lot of babies seem to know, when the big hand hits 10 AM (or whatever your morning naptime is) it's time for the crib. If you're at the grocery store and there is no crib in sight, you might have a riot on your hands. My son is flexible, and even when he gets tired, he'll deal with it pretty well until he gets to his carseat, or he'll fall asleep in your arms if he's being held.

Top 5 Tips for Staying Sane as a SAHM

Being a stay-at-home mom is, in my opinion, the most challanging job on earth. Even the most demanding careers provide lunch breaks, and at the end of a work day, you go home and forget about it until morning. As a mother, you are only given breaks at your child/childrens' generosity. For moms of the under age 1 group and multiple kids, this can mean zero breaks. If your baby has a good nap schedule, you're blessed. Even with naps, however, you still can't ever leave your job. At 5:00 when others head home from work and forget the stress of the day, SAHMs are hard at work trying to get at least some of dinner into the mouths of their kids and off of the floor and walls. Even the best moms need breaks. It's a tough job no matter what you do, but here are 5 tips to help cope with the craziness:

1. Get out of the house. If it's one 4 month old, or 4 under 5 year olds, round them up and get going. It might be a trip to the zoo, the park, or even just to Target. Regardless of the destination, it's important to get a change of scenery. Even the largest homes start to close in on you when they're filled with a screaming baby or energetic children.
2. Utilize naptimes to recharge. Don't use naps to do housework. Housework can typically be accomplished while the kids are playing, even if it means toting the crying littlest one on your hip while switching the laundry over. You want to take advantage of the time when your kids don't need your attention. Sit on the couch and relax. Watch tv. Take a nap yourself. Read a book. Surf the internet. Do something that you want to do.
3. Let the housework go when necessary. If you feel like you're falling apart at the seams and unable to enjoy your life, quit fretting and go play with the kids. Sometimes, you need to just have fun. For me, Friday is my 'forget responsibilities and play all day with the baby' day. I let the used bottles build up on the counter, dishes in the sink. I take my son to the playground at least once, sit on the floor all day and just enjoy being his mommy. This does mean his dad has a lot of housework when he comes home, but he typically doesn't mind. By Friday, I'm usually at the end of my rope and he knows that I deserve a play day. I can't ever take a break from motherhood, but I can take a break from housewifery, and so should you.
4. Make use of free babysitting. I haven't had family close enough to babysit for me, but we're moving back to family soon, and I intend to take full advantage of family babysitters. If you're having a rough day, and the kids are driving you up the walls, just pack them up and ship them to grandma's. Go do some shoe shopping, get your hair done, do something for you. You'll return to your kids with much more patience, and will be a better mother for it.
5. Don't sweat the little stuff. Kids whine. Even my 9 month old has taken to whining for no reason. He doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to play, doesn't need a nap; but he stands there looking at me and blubbering. The noise does grate on my nerves, as it does most moms. You can either scoop him/her up and usher them to a different toy which will probably distract them enough to be happy for the time being, or ignore it. Chances are, they will find something else with which to entertain themselves, or the whining will escalate, and you'll know that they actually need something.

Bristol Palin and Levi Getting Married

photo: flickr by er3465

The Facts

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are not getting a reality show; in fact, Bristol has expressed that a reality show is the last thing she would want in her already media swarmed relationship. Bristol wants her 18 month old son to have a father, and she wants to make things work with her high school sweetheart. Mama, Sarah Palin, is not thrilled with the couple's decision to get married. In 2009, Levi publically trashed the Palin family, posed for Playgirl magazine, and has in general not been acting like a stable partner or suitable role model.

Sarah's Role

Nevertheless, Sarah Palin respects Bristol's decision to get married, understanding Bristol's desire for her son to have a dad. It would seem, however, that mama is having a role in the timing of the wedding. Bristol, upon first announcing the engagement, was bursting at the seems with excitement. As time passes, her most recent interviews have shown a calmer demeenor which is hopeful, but not completely sold on Levi as a husband and father. She wants him to prove that he's responsible by getting his GED and showing her the new side of him that he claims to have.

The Right Decision

So, is this the right decision for Bristol, Levi, and for Tripp? Maybe. Bristol needs to resist the urge to be swept off her feet and rush into marriage. This marriage could work out for the two, and being together would be great for their son Tripp...but only if Levi is committed. Perhaps she is not interested in a reality show, but is Levi? He's proven himself to be a fame seeker in the past, so who is to say that this whole thing isn't a game he's playing to get back in the spotlight? Theis needs to be a long engagement, and Levi really needs to prove himself in order for this marriage to be a good idea.

What Do You Think?

Has Levi made one too many mistakes to be taken back? Is Bristol falling for empty promises? Or is this the best choice for the young family?

The Vaccination Dilemma

Traditional Vaccine Usage

Vaccination used to be a fairly easy decision. You get yourself and your children vaccinated to protect yourselves from life threatening diseases. Nobody wants to get diptheria after all. These vaccines saved countless lives.

Current Vaccines

These days, however, children are not only vaccinated for life threatening diseases. Even as recent as 1983, the average child only received 10 vaccines. Have any new dangerous epidemics swept the nation since then? No, but the 2010 schedule of recommended vaccines calls for over 30 vaccines before the age of 6.

The Problem?

Doctors are vaccinating babies on this whirlwind schedule which calls for 6 shots on a baby's 2 month check-up, with similar amounts at subsequent visits. Vaccinations are safe for most babies, but all of them come with some risk of dangerous side effects such as fever. Perhaps fever doesn't sound scary, but prolonged or high fever can lead to other complications such as seizures, which in turn can cause permanent brain damage. The risk is very low, but the more vaccines that you give in one sitting, the higher your risk is multiplying. There is also a raging debate on the possible link between vaccines and autism. Whether you believe this or not, the known side effects of vaccines are not to be taken lightly either. If your baby is unfortunate enough to get behind schedule, most doctors will stack even more injections into one visit. This is a dangerous practice that should be banned. There is no reason to rush vaccines this way, as long as a child is caught up in time for school.

Making Your Decision

Personally, I've chosen to delay vaccinating my son until he is 2 years old. Then we will vaccinate with one shot per visit and only selective vaccines. So far at 9 months of age, he has been healthy with no infections and only one runny nose which lasted 2 days. The CDC recommended schedule typically works for most children. Kids are not made with a cookie-cutter mold, however, and for many kids, the schedule can prove too intense resulting in bad side effects. Your decision to vaccinate, not vaccinate, or delay should take into account all of the risks and benefits associated with vaccination. Do your homework and feel comfortable about your decision. Don't feel pressured into anything by your child's doctor. Remember, it's you who is responsible for your child's health. Nobody else is going to admit fault or take responsibility if your child catches a dangerous disease, or suffers life changing vaccine side effects. So, be proactive in your family's health, and be involved in these important decisions.

Introductions...

I begin this blog as I truly enjoy writing, and writing about my experiences in motherhood is even more fun! I hope that I can share with you my advice, my struggles, and my thoughts on raising children in today's world.

A little bit about me...

• My son is 9 months old and is the love of my life- well, he and my husband :)


• I support breastfeeding whenever a mother is able.


• I support natural childbirth having experienced it, myself, but recognize the appeal and benefits of drugs/epidurals for others.


• I do not believe in a one-size-fits-all vaccination schedule for babies/children.


• I think motherhood is one of the highest honors that a woman can have; therefore a mother's decision to stay home and raise her children should be respected.

I can't wait to explore these and all kinds of other topics on this blog. And a big thank you to any readers I may gain, even if it's one post. You can also follow me on Twitter @lwnaturalmama. I appreciate your interest in my writing and any feedback is more than welcome!