Reflections from the Past Few Years

Two years ago, I was 8 months pregnant and alone. Well, not quite. I had a wonderful sister-in-law who moved in with me. Emotionally, however, I was in knots. I was awaiting the most exciting and terrifying occurance in my life to date, but my support system was gone, aside from nightly phone calls.

The Story

We got pregnant thinking that life would be smooth sailing. Clint brought home a great paycheck, we had a home with 2 empty bedrooms, and money in the bank. We didn't know what hardship was. Did real life ever sneak up on us and slap us upside the head when Clint lost his job? Oh, yea. Even with his years of experience and expertese, there was no job to be found in our city, or even state.

Then came Texas. Clint applied all over the country for positions, and got a phone call from the h.r. department of an enormous company that had an opening in their San Antonio office. The next thing you know, I'm in labor and frantically calling him to get on a plane back to Florida ASAP.

We never wanted to move across the country. Our families are all here in FL, and nothing but uncertainty waited for us in Texas. With my mom and 2 1/2 week old son, we boarded a plane and headed west. My mom left a few weeks later after helping us get settled, and I cried for days. I've never lived more than a 45 minute's drive from my parents, even in college.

We had a rough time of it. We had very few friends, and I was incredibly lonely. Clint's job was stressful, and mine was even worse. I called my mom at least once a day, and often bothered Clint at work, when I needed talked off a ledge (Either our baby was going out the window or I was). I'm mostly joking on that one, I was stable enough not to ever seriously consider something crazy like that. I did get overwhelmed pretty frequently. I think 6-8 hours straight of daytime screaming would do that to anyone.

A year ago, we made the decision to come home. We weren't %100 percent that he'd have a job waiting for him, but we took the leap anyway, and fell flat. We lived with family for 6 months while he worked at a grocery store. Then we took the plunge and moved back into our house (that had been rented while we were gone). Didn't know how we'd pay for it on his salary, but we went for it anyway. Then things got even worse and his hours were cut. After 2 weeks of that, we got the fantastic news that he would be rehired at his old company. The rest is history.

A Learning Experience

Looking back on it, I am glad that we made that big move, and that I had the opportunity to learn and grow as a person and in my faith.

• I learned to be a mom. I had no help (except for my mom's visits, and Clint's weekend efforts). This pushed me to my emotional and mental limits. I've learned through trial and error (mostly error) what works and what doesn't. Like not to fight him when he's a fussy wreck. Get in the truck and go for a coffee. Change of scenery is vital for maintaining sanity. Now that I'm home with family, I'm having such an easier time that I can even juggle caring for him with a part-time writing job.
  




• I learned to jump without a chute. My faith grew by leaps and bounds during the whole experience. We learned that you can't always see what's at the bottom of the cliff. Sometimes, you have to pray, then close your eyes and take a giant leap. God has promised good, and will not let us fall. It was about time we started really trusting Him.





• I learned to pray with power and conviction. I can pray expecting a result, not just begging, whining, and hoping for one.
  

Clint and I also really strengthened our own relationship throughout everything. It snapped us out of newlywed phase and really tightened our bond. I think trials and tribs either break couples or make them even stronger. We're sure not broken ;)

Here's to the Future

I don't know if our troubles are over for a while, or not. But, frankly, I don't care. We're not going to base our life decisions out of fear, but rather out of faith. Whatever comes our way, we'll conquer it.

God is good all of the time!

My Kid Eats Better Than I Do!

Perhaps I sit alone in this boat, but my son's eating habits are far better than my own. And believe me, I am not complaining! When I got pregnant, I made the choice to really improve my nutrition for the sake of my growing baby. I breastfed as much as I could from birth up until he weaned himself at 13 months. When he began eating solids, I made my own baby food for him, and only fed him organic baby food/snacks with no additives/preservatives when I did store buy it occasionally. He didn't even taste refined sugar until he was around 1 year old (obviously with his b-day cake).

Now, as an 18 month old, his eating habits are inspiring. He's a bit thin due to his high activity level and low fat/sugar diet, but he's as healthy as they come, and is setting up great habits for life. For examples, he happily eats lettuce with no dressing. He loves to eat fresh tomatoes and cucumbers as finger food. Of course he indulges in french fries and less healthy foods occassionally when we are at a restaurant. Now, he'll sometimes turn down ice cream in favor of strawberries. It's remarkable to me, as I see other moms prying chicken nuggets out of their kids' fingers, and others stuffing them into them.

Here is a typical day of food for my little one.

• Breakfast- Cheerios or corn flakes and fresh fruit like strawberries, blueberries, and bananas


• Morning snack- crackers and/or more fruit


• Lunch- ham/turkey and cheese sandwich or roll-ups (piece of cheese rolled up in a meat slice)


• Afternoon snack- Gerber Yogurt Melts, whole grain Goldfish, or Cheerios


• Dinner- whatever we have, typically a meat, pasta (or other grain), and vegetables (asparagus are his favorite vegetable)


• Dessert- a few bites of ice cream or a couple small cookies, sometimes more fruit

To me, that diet sounds pretty healthy, especially compared to the diets of other 1 1/2 year olds that we meet here and there. People are always blown away as they watch him chomp happily into a slice of raw onion or scarf undressed salad. I don't know if he's just a healthy eater or if it all has to do with how I fed him as a younger baby. Either way, I like it! How do your kids eat?

Infant Essentials

My first child will be turning 2 in a few short months. Reflecting, I've been thinking about all of the money we've wasted, and what I will do differently with our next baby. The following is based on my opinion and experiences only; everyone's needs will be different I'm sure. This is a list of which infant products I found necessary, and which were rather a waste of money.

Sleep Products

• Bassinet- This one is a toss up. We used ours every night. But with him sleeping in the room with us in his bassinet, he woke up every time we stirred. This led ultimately to moving the bassinet into the hallway, and then switching him to his crib at 3 months. I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier just to cosleep for breastfeeding's sake, then switch him to a crib as he began to sleep longer stretches.




• Receiving blankets- Definitely a waste of money for us. Our son was such an active sleeper that he kicked out of our tightest swaddles.




• SwaddleMe Infant Wrap- Though we couldn't use regular receiving blankets, our son still needed swaddling to keep from startling awake frequently. These velcro fastening swaddle wraps were indespensible. They held him nice and snuggly, but the stretchy cotton material was light and breathable. We used these until he was 3 1/2 months, and only quit then because he began flipping from back to front on his own and tummy sleeping. Definately a recommended product!




• Crib- I made use of my crib, but if you're co-sleeping you may not feel the need for it. It is always nice to have one if you decide that co-sleeping is not working out. If you can borrow one from a friend or relative, that's a great option. Just make sure that the crib is up to current safety regulations.

Nursing/Feeding

• Boppy Pillow-MUST HAVE! Makes nursing and bottle feeding worlds more comfortable. I used mine until he was about 12 months. Some people argue that regular pillows are just as useful. Nope, not true. Regular pillows will bunch and scoot away from your body as baby nestles close to your tummy. The next thing you know, the pillow is on your knees and baby's on your lap wondering how he fell off of your breast. I loved my boppy- you will too!


• Lansinoh- Lansinoh cream is a Godsend those first few weeks of nursing. Buy a big tube of that stuff and apply it after every feeding. It doesn't stop your nipples from drying out, cracking, bleeding ect... but it sure makes them feel better after your piranah's been chomping on them.


• bottle drying rack- I nursed and supplemented. I just dried my bottles on a dish towel early on. You don't need a drying rack, but mine was useful so that the bottles don't knock over if you accidentally brush them.


• breast pump- Useful if you want to go anywhere without your baby for the first 6 months, but not essential. A cheap manual pump is your best option for these occasional pumps for the babysitter. Medela is a good brand to go with for electric pumps. My Medela single had much more power than my cheaper Lansinoh brand double pump that I got later.
  

Play and Entertainment

• Swing- Our son didn't use his swing often, so it was a bit of a waste. That's not to say that subsequent children will not get enjoyment out of it, however. I'd recommend getting a swing, but not a pricey over-the-top one. Colicky babies tend to enjoy the motion, though our own rarely accepted the swing as a suitable alternative to mommy's arms in the glider.




• Bouncer seat- I did not have one of these with my son, but I do plan on buying one for my next child. It's nice that you can move them easily and keep the little one close- whether in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, or wherever.




• Pricey plastic toys-Definately, don't waste too much money on these. Infants are as happy chewing on a plastic kitchen spoon as they are on that $15 chewable plastic toy that you found at Babies-R-Us.

Travel Essentials

• Infant car seat- Though with convertibles accomodating kids from 5 lbs to 100 lbs these days, you don't really need an infant car seat. I would absolutely use one again though. It is sooooo nice to be able to transport sleeping baby from car to house without waking him. Just unlatch the car seat, bring it inside, and put the seat in his crib to let him sleep for another few hours. Heaven :)




• Baby carriers and wraps- These are indispensible. I used a tummy facing regular soft carrier like this one from the time my son was 6 weeks up until he was about 6 months. At that point it became too much of a back strain. This product was easy to get him in and out of, but just not good for larger babies as there is no real weight distribution across the back. That's when I discovered baby wraps. You don't have to shell out $50 to $100 or more on a brand name like Moby or Maya, either. I used the Ultimate Baby Wrap and still do for my guy. It's lighter material than the Moby, so it is better suited for warm climates, giving a t-shirt type feeling. It's very comfortable, and one of the most affordable wraps at around $30 depending upon what vender you shop.

I guess I've been weeding through my son's outgrown clothes and toys trying to figure out what to box up for next time, what he still uses, and what's ready for the garbage. Babies have so much stuff; they certainly don't need it all. If you can save yourself some money, by all means do it where you can. Baby will be happy playing with balled up aluminum foil and a wooden spoon after all. Is there anything you kick yourself for wasting money on? Or do you really wish you had bought that certain something that you don't have and feel you needed?

Cesarean Sections and the Home Birth Option

Home births are on the rise in America. Among white women, the number of women giving birth at home rose by 28% between the years 2004 and 2008 following a steady 15 year decline. Why is this happening? Is this an encouraging trend or unsafe?

Why Women are Electing Home Births

With the current cesarean rate in the US climbing well over 30%, there is clearly something wrong with our current system of delivering babies. To put this number in perspective, if you are in the emergency room with 2 other laboring women, chances are that one of you will undergo a c-section. This certainly frightens me. Although there are many reasons why a cesarean may be recommended, many medical professionals link excessive medical interventions with a rise in c-section rates.

Medical interventions refer to routine administration of epidurals and pitocin which are both linked to changes in baby's heartrate. Epidurals can also slow labor which leads to what doctors lable as "failure to progress" as they roll you into the OR. Another hinderance to labor is when you are strapped to monitors and forced to lie in bed during labor so that nurses can keep a good watch on baby's condition. These interventions and excessive monitoring are not even shown to improve health of newborns. For this reason, women are turning to birthing centers and home births under midwife care for a more natural approach.

Is it a Good Thing?

Is it really safe to give birth at home outside of a doctor's care and away from emergency facilities? Newborn death is 2 to 3 times more likely at home births than at hospital births. Even with this scarey sounding jump, the rate is still only 1 in 1,000, which is not a big number according to Aaron Coughey, M.D., Phd. The bottom line is that the caesarean rate is an unacceptable trend that mothers are now choosing to reject. Most low-risk mothers will deliver successfully at home for less cost and less risk for complications than in a hospital. Unless hospital and doctor procedures change drastically, the rate of home births is going to continue rising. It is currently at about a half of a percent in the US. In the UK, the rate is 2% across the country with some areas having much higher rates. Torbay, for example has a rate of 20%.

Personally...

I think that home birth is a great option for low-risk women who live a short distance from a hospital. I would love to try it if I didn't live an hour from the nearest hospital. Birth centers are a wonderful alternative for those of us who are disgusted with the over-medicalization of birth in hospitals. They are convenient to hospitals usually and have all the emergency equipment and qualified staff that you need- the comforts of home plus some extra safety. C-sections have their place, and they do save countless lives of moms and babies. 30% of the population, however, is NOT incapable of vaginal births. We need to remember that birth is not a procedure to be gotten over with as quickly and conveniently as possible. Birth is a natural process that has been going on for a lot longer than monitors and pain killing drugs have been around. We can be safe in delivery without destroying God's perfect design for bringing people into the world. What do you think? Have you given birth in just hospitals? Are you open to alternative venues?

The Big Boy Bed

At just about 19 months of age, we have transitioned the little guy to his first big boy bed. Sleep patterns have not been good the last month. He rapidly switched from 10 hour stretches in his crib to up for bottles and cuddles multiple times per night. Struggling with this for awhile, one night it occurred to me. Maybe he wants to be a big kid.

The Bed

A week later we were taking down the crib and setting up a twin mattress. We just put the mattress on the floor to avoid any spills. We decorated it with bright red sheets and a comforter starring his favorite character Thomas the Tank Engine.

It was an instant hit. He kept dragging us back to his room the rest of the evening to flop and jump on his new bed. We also installed a baby gate to keep him from nighttime wanderings. But, we still weren't sure it would work. I hoped, but hubby was downright doubtful that it would make a difference.

The First Night

The first night we followed our usual routine with a story and then a prayer. I laid him in his bed with his head on the pillow and kissed him goodnight. I walked toward the door and heard him start to fuss. "It's going to be a long night," I thought as I latched the gate and closed the door most of the way. I headed down the hall listening to mild fussing. 30 seconds later, it was quiet. A half hour later, I peeked in and saw, to my joy, my little boy sound asleep in the middle of his big boy bed.

How We're Doing Now

Starting the second night of the big bed, he has been falling asleep as soon as I lay him down with no fussing. He sleeps for 5 hour stretches, then needs comfort or a bottle to fall back to sleep. Last night we did our first cold turkey elimination of the bottle. Sure, his daddy and I were in there for an hour and a half at 3:30 am listening to screaming before he finally fell back to sleep. I am hoping, however, that our efforts will pay off with a longer stretch of sleep tonight. I hope he can learn to fall back to sleep on his own soon. It will mean better quality sleep for everybody! Wish us luck....