The C-Section Epidemic in America

The World Health Organization recommends that a nation's rate of cesarean section births be at or below 15%. While most developed countries have a rate of around 20%, the c-section rate in the United States as of 2009 was a staggaring 32%. That's nearly 1 in 3! Why is this happening? A number of factors play into it, including the prevalence of inductions, increasing numbers of overweight mothers (often with gestational diabetes) giving birth to large babies, as well as the presumed convenience and ease of cesarean delivery. We can basically boil down c-section rationing into 3 reasons- fear, concern, or convenience.

Why Doctors and Moms are Opting for the Knife

The fear I am speaking of is not fear of health danger to the mother or baby. It's not a fear of the mother not being able to deliver successfully vaginally. It's a fear of lawsuits. In today's lawsuit-happy society parents may be inclined to file suit against a doctor and/or the hospital in the case of any health or cosmetic issue related to the vaginal delivery. While doctors do need to exercise caution, keeping safety of the mother and baby a higher priority than a natural birth, women shouldn't be pressured into surgery for failure to progress after only a short time period.

Another reason for c-sections is genuine concern over the baby and/or mother's health and safety. If a baby is struggling after being given ample time to move down on his own, a cesarian may be necessary. If baby responds poorly to contractions, showing signs of excessive stress, a c-section may be wise. In these circumstances the baby's well-being needs to be the top priority.

Unfortunately, one of the largest reasons for inductions and cesareans is convenience. The doctor or baby's parents want him out before Christmas, even though the due date is the 1st of January. The doctor has a golf game on Saturday, so lets get that baby out Friday night, even though mom's only been laboring on her own for a few hours. That baby is going to be big, so we need to induce at 38 weeks. The list of excuses for inductions and/or c-sections goes on. Some doctors simply schedule inductions during the 39th or 40th weeks to avoid the hassel increased fetal monitoring  (bio-physical profile ultrasounding and non-stress tests performed after the due date).

Cesarean Statistics
Having a c-section might seem like a simple procedure that gets the baby out quickly and safely. There are a host of reasons, however, why this major surgery should not be performed at the current rates.

• It is major surgery that involves many risks, including infection, scarring, and more.
• Complications lead to increased risk for the mother being further hospitalized and the infant needing time in NICU.
• Increased risk of uterine rupture during subsequent pregnancies (life threatening for mother and baby).
• Increased risk of placenta abnormalities in future pregnancies, causing hemorrhaging and possibly requiring a hystorectomy.
• C-section births make it difficult or impossible to have a large family.

What Can or Should be Done?
There are quite a few things that the medical community should be doing differently. Inductions need to be performed only in extreme health risk situations. Obstetricians should be resolute in fighting a woman's desire for a convenience-based induction. Pitocin should not be routinely administered. Women should be encouraged to move around and walk during labor to encourage regular contractions. This is only feasable if she is not hooked up to an IV and monitors. Doctors and nurses need to respect the fact that every woman labors differently, not necessarily at the standard 1 cm per hour pace. As long as her membranes are in tact and the baby is well, a mother should be able to labor as gradually as her body progresses naturally.

These changes aren't going to happen overnight. Until then, what can we do? Are we obliged to be victims of a careless and money driven medical machine? Absolutely not! You've got a lot of power. Up until recently, though, we haven't been exercising it. You can choose an obstetrician who cares about you, not just his or her assembly line of mamas. Better, still, you can choose a midwife and opt for a birth center or homebirth. Midwifery is on the rise in the US. Women are choosing natural childbirth, relying on techniques such as water and hypnosis to manage labor pain. If you choose an obstetrician and a traditional hospital delivery, do your homework. Have a heart to heart honest conversation with your md about your expectations for the delivery. If you want a drug free birth, remember that hospital beds are not the best choices for a comfortable labor. Bring a birthing (yoga/exercise) ball.

It's YOUR Birth!
Remember above all that this is your childbirth. Don't cave to an unecessary induction. Do switch doctors, even in your last trimester, if your current physician isn't meeting your expectations. Don't worry about your "due" date. It's only to give a general idea for the baby's expected arrival. Your baby doesn't suddenly become unsafe in your womb on this magic day. You might deliver as much as 2 weeks past this date. My own grandmother in-law went a whopping 43 weeks with one of her 4 pregnancies, delivering a healthy 7 pound baby. Most care-givers won't let you go past 42 weeks these days, but that's ample time for most pregnancies. Don't deal with any practitioner who won't at least give you 42 weeks. With proper fetal monitoring, there is little danger in going these few extra days.

I made a lot of mistakes in my first pregnancy/delivery. It was a painful experience, though, I thankfully did it vaginally. Second time around, I hired a midwife, and gave birth in a beautiful tub in a room filled with dim lighting and soothing music. I'll describe that magical experience in another post. The bottom line is that the skyrocketting cesarean rate isn't good for anyone- except possibly the doctors who make twice as much money from these risky deliveries. In developing countries, such as China, the rates are approaching 50% for this very reason. Women need to take a stand and take charge of their own births. The health of our moms and newborns is not improving as c-section rates increase. It's your baby and your body. Make the right choices, rather than what is convenient.

Getting Real about Breastfeeding- It Hurts...Even When You do it Right!

I'm a big time breastfeeding advocate. Let's be clear. Breast is best always, and I think every woman should at least try to exclusively breastfeed. That said, I'm sick and tired of all the bogus claims going around that nursing doesn't hurt, and if it does, it's your fault.

I was given some La Leche League literature upon being discharged from the birth center after Ben was born. Everything I read said, breastfeeding shouldn't hurt. If it does, your baby is latched incorrectly, and you need to change that to avoid sore nipples.

I've done this twice now, and let me tell you, it hurts- EVEN IF BABY IS LATCHED PROPERLY! Maybe some women get away with not feeling any discomfort, but in my experience that is not the norm. This is what happens when you breastfeed.

• Constant suckling on the nipple dries out the skin. This is a simple truth. The same way your lips become chapped if you lick them too often. It drains the moisture. Heavy application of Lansinoh cream can help, but it will not solve the problem. No matter how perfectly baby is latched, you're still drying out the skin- no avoiding it.
• Dry skin leads to cracking and/or bleeding. My nipples were cracked and bloody for both of my boys.

No big surprise, dry cracked nipples are sore nipples. It hurts while baby latches on, and while baby nurses. I made sure to do everything right with this most recent experience. Ben nursed tummy to tummy, had as much of the areola in his mouth as possible, lower lip pouted/good tongue action, with his chin massaging the breast with the jaw action. I could hear him swallowing, and I knew he was well latched. Didn't matter.

A week after his birth, the soreness began. My nipples began peeling. I liberally slathered on the Lansinoh. I'd cry, blubbering to my husband who wished so much to help. I looked at my little boy nursing so eagerly, clenched my fists and tried to find a happy place. Nipples continued to dry, and cracking began during the 2nd week. Soon a little blood began coming out with the milk. By week 3-4, the nipples were beginning to toughen, and scabs appeared. This was gross, as Ben would be nursing, and start coughing as a scab came off into his mouth- yuck! Nursing still hurt, but the pain was beginning to decrease. The latching process hurt, but the pain eased as he began suckling. By week 5, the scabs were gone, and nursing was no longer gross or particularly uncomfortable. It's been great ever since. Ben is 4 months old and still exclusively breastfed.

I advocate breastfeeding, but I don't approve of women being lied to about it. Moms try breastfeeding, can't manage to "do it right," become discouraged because it's not supposed to hurt, and quit. They think they're the only ones going through the misery of the first few weeks. First timers don't have a light at the end of the tunnel. They don't know that they're only a week or 2 away from pain free nursing.

Why can't we be honest with moms?! Yea, it might hurt like hell. But that's normal and will improve sometime in the first 6 weeks or so. You're normal for feeling pain. You're not doing anything wrong. You're giving your baby the best nutrition possible. So, white knuckle grip that Boppy pillow and power through. Those nipples will toughen, and soon it won't hurt as much. You might not believe it during week 3, but someday you'll love nursing, and someday after that you'll really miss it.

Check out this oh, so beautiful post from another mom (Metropolitan Mama) who endured the pain for her baby.

Breastfeeding can hurt. It's not always your fault. It's SO WORTH IT!

A-B-C...It's Easy as 1-2-7?

It's hard for us as proud parents not to compare our kids to those of our friends from an early age. From the time our babies are born, we're on Facebook bragging to the world about how soon little Timmy rolled over or said his first word. As our little ones reach preschool age, our pride in them can lead us to compare their academic achievements with others.

Is John below average? Deborah's daughter is 4 months younger than him, but she can count to 20. John barely gets to 5. There must be something wrong...

Do you ever find yourself experiencing this type of thought pattern? I think most of us do from time to time. Honestly though, preschool learning has very little, if anything to do with success in upper levels of school. This Wall Street Journal article discusses the potential benefits and drawbacks of our preschool system. In fact, one of the lasting effects of preschool education is a minor increase in behavioral problems.

Preschool is popular, not for the benefit of children, but rather for the convenience of parents. Kids can get all of the structure and socialization necessary through parental teaching and parent arranged playdates. Because many parents choose to or need to work, however, preschools have become the norm, with 2/3 of four year olds attending them.

How can you be sure that your child will be ready for kindergarden if you choose to opt out of preschool? Easy- teach them yourself. This is the most sensible solution for stay at home parents. Unfortunately, it's not always easy. My stubborn just turned 3 year old has been nearly impossible to teach. He learned his colors and animals quite easily through life experience- me pointing out a red balloon or a horse or whatever. When it comes to actually sitting down with him and convincing him to try to learn something, though, forget it.

He can count to 10. I've heard him do it. Will he do it if I ask him to? Absolutely not. If I try to force the issue, he'll turn into a blubbering mess. Colton's always been one to learn on his own terms. He was a late walker, but the day he started walking, he could do it well, along with running and walking backwards. Same thing for potty training- I knew he could do it long before he knew. The week he potty trained, he would be dry all day and all night. He won't try to do something unless HE knows he can do it. If he has any degree of uncertainty, he will flat out refuse to try. It's a really frustrating aspect of his personality, and one that I hope he can work through as he gets older.

For this reason, I've taken a laid back approach to his homeschooling. I bought the rigorous curriculum packed full of fun activities, but it'll have to wait. All kids mature at different paces. We work on letters and memorization as he is open to it. I don't want to turn him off to learning completely. He loves to use the iphone to trace his alphabet and learn letter sounds. He can take control of his own learning without worrying about failing in front of anyone. I hate that he's afraid of failing in front of me. He shouldn't be embarassed or scared to try. I'm always positive and encouraging, but I think it's just something that he needs to grow and mature out of.

I know that he learns some in his Sunday school class, but definitely not at the pace of the other, slightly older kids in it. First kid is always experimental. We'll see how things go, but I'm hoping that we'll get better at it and be able to homeschool through elementary levels. If anyone has any tips to share, I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Cloth Diapering Lesson 1- Using Prefolds

Ok folks, I never thought I'd be the type of mom to use cloth. I'm just not that crunchy. Yea, I breastfeed, use alternative vaccine schedules, and make my own baby food, but I don't limit myself to organic products, don't worry about GMOs and don't cloth diaper...until now.

When we got pregnant with Benjamin, it became a matter of necessity, not a feel good thing for the environment or my baby's bum- though I still don't like finding those gell beads on them from disposables. If we were going to afford this 2nd baby, I would need to exclusively breastfeed, and use cloth to reduce our diaper bills. So, I use cloth during the day, and 2 or 3 disposables at night. This saves us about 6 daytime disposables every day. That adds up. Oh, and I use disposables when we're out of the house, cuz carrying around poopy cloth diapers is just yucky. I might get over that someday, too, though.

So, what do I use? The world of cloth diapering has gotten quite large. It's not your grandma's flats with safety pins and rubber pants any more. Let's see, there are flats or prefolds with covers, all in ones, all in twos, pocket diapers, and a lot more. You can get soakers to use with prefolds; you can use flushable liners to catch poopy. You can even skip washing almost all together by using biodegradable/flushable inserts with covers. This is going to pretty much eliminate the cost efficiency of it, though. For our family, the cheapest and easiest solution was prefolds (we like Osocozy Unbleached Indian Prefolds) with covers (Thirsties Duo Wraps are our faves).

I bought all of our products on Amazon.com, and spent about $100 to hold us through the first 6 months (hopefully). This included 1 dozen infant sized prefolds, and 2 dozen regulars, as well as 5 covers (4 Thirsties, and 1 Blueberry). I like the Blueberry cover as well, but it did cost more, and was not suitable for him until he got to about 12 lbs. The leg gussets are still a bit loose at 14 lbs.

So let's get started. First, lay the prefold flat underneath baby's bum. I like to fold the edge down about an inch for extra protection for those wild breastfed poops. Line the edge up about to baby's belly button level.

Ok, I'll be demonstrating an angel wing fold. Other suitable folds for catching breastmilk poop include the jellyroll and bikini twist. For the angel wing fold, you'll fold each side of the prefold to the center, creating "wings" up to the waist. Here, I'll show you...

Great! Once you get to this point, just pull the folded material up through baby's legs snuggly. My diapers are still a bit big, plus I like added absorbancy in the front for my boy, so I fold the front down as well.

Once you do this part, it's just a matter of hooking it all together with a Snappi. I didn't mention Snappies earlier, but I got mine off Amazon, as well.

The angel wing fold is great because the wings form gussets that hold nice and tight to baby's thighs.

Now just snap or velcro your cover on over the prefold. Be sure to tuck in the prefold, so that none of it is showing out of the cover. Otherwise, you'll leak.

Now, you're done! That's one type of fold for one style of cloth diapering. I''ll get more in depth and discuss various other folds and options another time. Thanks for reading; be sure to tell me your favorite fold  or favorite cloth diaper! And a big thanks to Benny for his cooperation :)

Growing Bigger and Better

Yes, it's been a long time without any updates. I'm now a work-at-home mama with two precious boys. Benjamin joined us on July 26 of this year. His birth was astounding, but we'll get into that in a different post. For now, let's just update on where we are now.

My Colton is a rambunctious and loveable 3 year old now, growing into a fantastic little person in his own right. We're gradually introducing homeschooling into his daily routine, so stay posted for updates on that.

Benny has been the most laid back and pleasant child that I could have imagined. He nurses beautifully, and at 3 months, is still exclusively breastfed. We've also joined the wonderful world of cloth diapering. I'm sure I'll be posting in more detail my thoughts and experiences with that.

For us, though, it was an economic necessity. Like I said, I do work part time from home, and we rely on that income for some bills. Should we have waited on number 2...maybe, but not really. I wanted my kids to be 2-3 yrs apart to give each other a playmate. We had enough income to get by, as well as health insurance, so we're not completely stupid. Money is still tight. As long as the economy keeps limping the way it is, money is still going to be a struggle for us. There aren't any raises in the near future for hubs I'm sure. The love in our home makes it worth it every day. As long as we've got each other, we'll get by.

We just celebrated our first Halloween as a foursome, and I am so excited about the upcoming holidays with my beautiful family. I'm also really hoping to carve out time at least once a week to do a bit of blogging. I write for money these days, so it's nice to write and share about my own life. Great to be back!

Reflections from the Past Few Years

Two years ago, I was 8 months pregnant and alone. Well, not quite. I had a wonderful sister-in-law who moved in with me. Emotionally, however, I was in knots. I was awaiting the most exciting and terrifying occurance in my life to date, but my support system was gone, aside from nightly phone calls.

The Story

We got pregnant thinking that life would be smooth sailing. Clint brought home a great paycheck, we had a home with 2 empty bedrooms, and money in the bank. We didn't know what hardship was. Did real life ever sneak up on us and slap us upside the head when Clint lost his job? Oh, yea. Even with his years of experience and expertese, there was no job to be found in our city, or even state.

Then came Texas. Clint applied all over the country for positions, and got a phone call from the h.r. department of an enormous company that had an opening in their San Antonio office. The next thing you know, I'm in labor and frantically calling him to get on a plane back to Florida ASAP.

We never wanted to move across the country. Our families are all here in FL, and nothing but uncertainty waited for us in Texas. With my mom and 2 1/2 week old son, we boarded a plane and headed west. My mom left a few weeks later after helping us get settled, and I cried for days. I've never lived more than a 45 minute's drive from my parents, even in college.

We had a rough time of it. We had very few friends, and I was incredibly lonely. Clint's job was stressful, and mine was even worse. I called my mom at least once a day, and often bothered Clint at work, when I needed talked off a ledge (Either our baby was going out the window or I was). I'm mostly joking on that one, I was stable enough not to ever seriously consider something crazy like that. I did get overwhelmed pretty frequently. I think 6-8 hours straight of daytime screaming would do that to anyone.

A year ago, we made the decision to come home. We weren't %100 percent that he'd have a job waiting for him, but we took the leap anyway, and fell flat. We lived with family for 6 months while he worked at a grocery store. Then we took the plunge and moved back into our house (that had been rented while we were gone). Didn't know how we'd pay for it on his salary, but we went for it anyway. Then things got even worse and his hours were cut. After 2 weeks of that, we got the fantastic news that he would be rehired at his old company. The rest is history.

A Learning Experience

Looking back on it, I am glad that we made that big move, and that I had the opportunity to learn and grow as a person and in my faith.

• I learned to be a mom. I had no help (except for my mom's visits, and Clint's weekend efforts). This pushed me to my emotional and mental limits. I've learned through trial and error (mostly error) what works and what doesn't. Like not to fight him when he's a fussy wreck. Get in the truck and go for a coffee. Change of scenery is vital for maintaining sanity. Now that I'm home with family, I'm having such an easier time that I can even juggle caring for him with a part-time writing job.
  




• I learned to jump without a chute. My faith grew by leaps and bounds during the whole experience. We learned that you can't always see what's at the bottom of the cliff. Sometimes, you have to pray, then close your eyes and take a giant leap. God has promised good, and will not let us fall. It was about time we started really trusting Him.





• I learned to pray with power and conviction. I can pray expecting a result, not just begging, whining, and hoping for one.
  

Clint and I also really strengthened our own relationship throughout everything. It snapped us out of newlywed phase and really tightened our bond. I think trials and tribs either break couples or make them even stronger. We're sure not broken ;)

Here's to the Future

I don't know if our troubles are over for a while, or not. But, frankly, I don't care. We're not going to base our life decisions out of fear, but rather out of faith. Whatever comes our way, we'll conquer it.

God is good all of the time!

My Kid Eats Better Than I Do!

Perhaps I sit alone in this boat, but my son's eating habits are far better than my own. And believe me, I am not complaining! When I got pregnant, I made the choice to really improve my nutrition for the sake of my growing baby. I breastfed as much as I could from birth up until he weaned himself at 13 months. When he began eating solids, I made my own baby food for him, and only fed him organic baby food/snacks with no additives/preservatives when I did store buy it occasionally. He didn't even taste refined sugar until he was around 1 year old (obviously with his b-day cake).

Now, as an 18 month old, his eating habits are inspiring. He's a bit thin due to his high activity level and low fat/sugar diet, but he's as healthy as they come, and is setting up great habits for life. For examples, he happily eats lettuce with no dressing. He loves to eat fresh tomatoes and cucumbers as finger food. Of course he indulges in french fries and less healthy foods occassionally when we are at a restaurant. Now, he'll sometimes turn down ice cream in favor of strawberries. It's remarkable to me, as I see other moms prying chicken nuggets out of their kids' fingers, and others stuffing them into them.

Here is a typical day of food for my little one.

• Breakfast- Cheerios or corn flakes and fresh fruit like strawberries, blueberries, and bananas


• Morning snack- crackers and/or more fruit


• Lunch- ham/turkey and cheese sandwich or roll-ups (piece of cheese rolled up in a meat slice)


• Afternoon snack- Gerber Yogurt Melts, whole grain Goldfish, or Cheerios


• Dinner- whatever we have, typically a meat, pasta (or other grain), and vegetables (asparagus are his favorite vegetable)


• Dessert- a few bites of ice cream or a couple small cookies, sometimes more fruit

To me, that diet sounds pretty healthy, especially compared to the diets of other 1 1/2 year olds that we meet here and there. People are always blown away as they watch him chomp happily into a slice of raw onion or scarf undressed salad. I don't know if he's just a healthy eater or if it all has to do with how I fed him as a younger baby. Either way, I like it! How do your kids eat?

Infant Essentials

My first child will be turning 2 in a few short months. Reflecting, I've been thinking about all of the money we've wasted, and what I will do differently with our next baby. The following is based on my opinion and experiences only; everyone's needs will be different I'm sure. This is a list of which infant products I found necessary, and which were rather a waste of money.

Sleep Products

• Bassinet- This one is a toss up. We used ours every night. But with him sleeping in the room with us in his bassinet, he woke up every time we stirred. This led ultimately to moving the bassinet into the hallway, and then switching him to his crib at 3 months. I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier just to cosleep for breastfeeding's sake, then switch him to a crib as he began to sleep longer stretches.




• Receiving blankets- Definitely a waste of money for us. Our son was such an active sleeper that he kicked out of our tightest swaddles.




• SwaddleMe Infant Wrap- Though we couldn't use regular receiving blankets, our son still needed swaddling to keep from startling awake frequently. These velcro fastening swaddle wraps were indespensible. They held him nice and snuggly, but the stretchy cotton material was light and breathable. We used these until he was 3 1/2 months, and only quit then because he began flipping from back to front on his own and tummy sleeping. Definately a recommended product!




• Crib- I made use of my crib, but if you're co-sleeping you may not feel the need for it. It is always nice to have one if you decide that co-sleeping is not working out. If you can borrow one from a friend or relative, that's a great option. Just make sure that the crib is up to current safety regulations.

Nursing/Feeding

• Boppy Pillow-MUST HAVE! Makes nursing and bottle feeding worlds more comfortable. I used mine until he was about 12 months. Some people argue that regular pillows are just as useful. Nope, not true. Regular pillows will bunch and scoot away from your body as baby nestles close to your tummy. The next thing you know, the pillow is on your knees and baby's on your lap wondering how he fell off of your breast. I loved my boppy- you will too!


• Lansinoh- Lansinoh cream is a Godsend those first few weeks of nursing. Buy a big tube of that stuff and apply it after every feeding. It doesn't stop your nipples from drying out, cracking, bleeding ect... but it sure makes them feel better after your piranah's been chomping on them.


• bottle drying rack- I nursed and supplemented. I just dried my bottles on a dish towel early on. You don't need a drying rack, but mine was useful so that the bottles don't knock over if you accidentally brush them.


• breast pump- Useful if you want to go anywhere without your baby for the first 6 months, but not essential. A cheap manual pump is your best option for these occasional pumps for the babysitter. Medela is a good brand to go with for electric pumps. My Medela single had much more power than my cheaper Lansinoh brand double pump that I got later.
  

Play and Entertainment

• Swing- Our son didn't use his swing often, so it was a bit of a waste. That's not to say that subsequent children will not get enjoyment out of it, however. I'd recommend getting a swing, but not a pricey over-the-top one. Colicky babies tend to enjoy the motion, though our own rarely accepted the swing as a suitable alternative to mommy's arms in the glider.




• Bouncer seat- I did not have one of these with my son, but I do plan on buying one for my next child. It's nice that you can move them easily and keep the little one close- whether in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, or wherever.




• Pricey plastic toys-Definately, don't waste too much money on these. Infants are as happy chewing on a plastic kitchen spoon as they are on that $15 chewable plastic toy that you found at Babies-R-Us.

Travel Essentials

• Infant car seat- Though with convertibles accomodating kids from 5 lbs to 100 lbs these days, you don't really need an infant car seat. I would absolutely use one again though. It is sooooo nice to be able to transport sleeping baby from car to house without waking him. Just unlatch the car seat, bring it inside, and put the seat in his crib to let him sleep for another few hours. Heaven :)




• Baby carriers and wraps- These are indispensible. I used a tummy facing regular soft carrier like this one from the time my son was 6 weeks up until he was about 6 months. At that point it became too much of a back strain. This product was easy to get him in and out of, but just not good for larger babies as there is no real weight distribution across the back. That's when I discovered baby wraps. You don't have to shell out $50 to $100 or more on a brand name like Moby or Maya, either. I used the Ultimate Baby Wrap and still do for my guy. It's lighter material than the Moby, so it is better suited for warm climates, giving a t-shirt type feeling. It's very comfortable, and one of the most affordable wraps at around $30 depending upon what vender you shop.

I guess I've been weeding through my son's outgrown clothes and toys trying to figure out what to box up for next time, what he still uses, and what's ready for the garbage. Babies have so much stuff; they certainly don't need it all. If you can save yourself some money, by all means do it where you can. Baby will be happy playing with balled up aluminum foil and a wooden spoon after all. Is there anything you kick yourself for wasting money on? Or do you really wish you had bought that certain something that you don't have and feel you needed?

Cesarean Sections and the Home Birth Option

Home births are on the rise in America. Among white women, the number of women giving birth at home rose by 28% between the years 2004 and 2008 following a steady 15 year decline. Why is this happening? Is this an encouraging trend or unsafe?

Why Women are Electing Home Births

With the current cesarean rate in the US climbing well over 30%, there is clearly something wrong with our current system of delivering babies. To put this number in perspective, if you are in the emergency room with 2 other laboring women, chances are that one of you will undergo a c-section. This certainly frightens me. Although there are many reasons why a cesarean may be recommended, many medical professionals link excessive medical interventions with a rise in c-section rates.

Medical interventions refer to routine administration of epidurals and pitocin which are both linked to changes in baby's heartrate. Epidurals can also slow labor which leads to what doctors lable as "failure to progress" as they roll you into the OR. Another hinderance to labor is when you are strapped to monitors and forced to lie in bed during labor so that nurses can keep a good watch on baby's condition. These interventions and excessive monitoring are not even shown to improve health of newborns. For this reason, women are turning to birthing centers and home births under midwife care for a more natural approach.

Is it a Good Thing?

Is it really safe to give birth at home outside of a doctor's care and away from emergency facilities? Newborn death is 2 to 3 times more likely at home births than at hospital births. Even with this scarey sounding jump, the rate is still only 1 in 1,000, which is not a big number according to Aaron Coughey, M.D., Phd. The bottom line is that the caesarean rate is an unacceptable trend that mothers are now choosing to reject. Most low-risk mothers will deliver successfully at home for less cost and less risk for complications than in a hospital. Unless hospital and doctor procedures change drastically, the rate of home births is going to continue rising. It is currently at about a half of a percent in the US. In the UK, the rate is 2% across the country with some areas having much higher rates. Torbay, for example has a rate of 20%.

Personally...

I think that home birth is a great option for low-risk women who live a short distance from a hospital. I would love to try it if I didn't live an hour from the nearest hospital. Birth centers are a wonderful alternative for those of us who are disgusted with the over-medicalization of birth in hospitals. They are convenient to hospitals usually and have all the emergency equipment and qualified staff that you need- the comforts of home plus some extra safety. C-sections have their place, and they do save countless lives of moms and babies. 30% of the population, however, is NOT incapable of vaginal births. We need to remember that birth is not a procedure to be gotten over with as quickly and conveniently as possible. Birth is a natural process that has been going on for a lot longer than monitors and pain killing drugs have been around. We can be safe in delivery without destroying God's perfect design for bringing people into the world. What do you think? Have you given birth in just hospitals? Are you open to alternative venues?

The Big Boy Bed

At just about 19 months of age, we have transitioned the little guy to his first big boy bed. Sleep patterns have not been good the last month. He rapidly switched from 10 hour stretches in his crib to up for bottles and cuddles multiple times per night. Struggling with this for awhile, one night it occurred to me. Maybe he wants to be a big kid.

The Bed

A week later we were taking down the crib and setting up a twin mattress. We just put the mattress on the floor to avoid any spills. We decorated it with bright red sheets and a comforter starring his favorite character Thomas the Tank Engine.

It was an instant hit. He kept dragging us back to his room the rest of the evening to flop and jump on his new bed. We also installed a baby gate to keep him from nighttime wanderings. But, we still weren't sure it would work. I hoped, but hubby was downright doubtful that it would make a difference.

The First Night

The first night we followed our usual routine with a story and then a prayer. I laid him in his bed with his head on the pillow and kissed him goodnight. I walked toward the door and heard him start to fuss. "It's going to be a long night," I thought as I latched the gate and closed the door most of the way. I headed down the hall listening to mild fussing. 30 seconds later, it was quiet. A half hour later, I peeked in and saw, to my joy, my little boy sound asleep in the middle of his big boy bed.

How We're Doing Now

Starting the second night of the big bed, he has been falling asleep as soon as I lay him down with no fussing. He sleeps for 5 hour stretches, then needs comfort or a bottle to fall back to sleep. Last night we did our first cold turkey elimination of the bottle. Sure, his daddy and I were in there for an hour and a half at 3:30 am listening to screaming before he finally fell back to sleep. I am hoping, however, that our efforts will pay off with a longer stretch of sleep tonight. I hope he can learn to fall back to sleep on his own soon. It will mean better quality sleep for everybody! Wish us luck....

One Year Later

It's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since my son came into the world. We celebrated his birthday at the park surrounded by family and friends. He's the light of our lives, and I am treasuring every moment, because time is flying by so quickly.

Accomplishments

• First steps- about a week after his first birthday.


• Talking- "mama" "dada" "bye-bye" "kiss" "baw (ball)"


• Crawling-army style at 5 months, all fours by 9 months


• Throwing a ball- 11 months


• Rolling a ball- 9 months


• Stacking blocks- 11 months


• Waving bye-bye and gesturing come here- 10-11 months


• Playing in the swimming pool- 6 months; now it's his favorite thing

These are just a handful of the things my boy has been up to this past year. It's amazing how much change has taken place to get my helpless infant with no vocabulary, head control, or expressions to where he is today- a confident, happy, healthy, playful little boy.

A New Start

I've been unplugged from blogging for the last few months as we've been involved in a cross country move. Now that we're semi-settled, I'll be happy to continue to share advice and adventures as frequently as permitted. We're living close to family again, and the joy that surrounds our son is such a beautiful thing.

The Re-birth of the Stay at Home Mother

In the 1960's when women were so bravely fighting for equality in the workplace, I'm sure none would have imagined the next generation's response. Women's participation in the workforce has climbed steadily from 40.8% in 1970 to its peak of 57.5% in 2000 according to US Bureau of Labor stats. What happened after the year 2000, however, has been a steady rise in mothers choosing to abandon the workforce to raise children. The percentage of stay at home moms has risen by 15% in less than 10 years. That's quite a statement

So what does it mean? Modern moms are realizing that the power driven business world can't replace or erase their natural instincts to love and nurture their offspring. Some women overcome this hinderance to have fulfilling work and family lives. I'm not knocking it, as my own mom was a terrific working mom. Should women have the option to work and make fortunes? Of course they should, but it shouldn't be a requirement. More and more women are realizing that they are not backwards for desiring hearth and home above the workplace.

So, are we all June Cleavers? Some would spread this notion. This CBS 60 Minutes report discusses how stay at home moms are failing to use their capacities and that this is detrimental to society. These moms are not uneducated, but intellegent, well-educated, successful women who apparently are screwing up the world by choosing to raise children. Really, CBS, really?

Are we really disrespecting the previous generation? Or are we learning and growing- expanding upon what they've done even if taking it in a different direction? There will always be women in positions of power. The broader culture, however, is realizing that we don't all have to be suit-wearing, ball-busting, empowered women to find purpose and fulfilment in life. Maybe it's closer than our foremothers could have imagined- in our childrens' smiles.

Keeping a Healthy Weight During and After Pregnancy

There is no set amount of weight that women need to gain to grow a healthy baby. I started my pregnancy at a healthy, normal bmi. My obstetrician told me that between 20 and 30 pounds is what I needed to gain. Meanwhile, at 36 weeks gestation, at a weight gain of 18 pounds, my maternal fetal specialist sent a note to my ob that I was not gaining enough weight. She told me to ignore that comment, as my baby was measuring completely normal, and I'm the one who has to tote around all the unnecessary(non baby related) lbs.My total weight gain up to 38 weeks when I delivered was 24 pounds, and this yeilded a 6 lb 3 oz baby. That's on the small end, but if he had finished baking and stayed put until the full 40 weeks, I would have had a perfectly average 7 pounder.

I think appropriate weight gain has a lot to do with the kind of body condition you have when you become pregnant. If you're underweight, you should attempt to acheive a healthy weight before conceiving. I needed a healthy weight because I lost 10 pounds the first trimester. If you're already thin, you don't have a buffer in case you do get sick and lose weight. You also want to make sure that you gain healthy weight.

Overweight women need to get into shape before pregnancy. Pregnancy is hard enough on your feet and back without extra weight. Maintaining a healthy weight also makes conception easier.

Even if you eat healthy and exercise, keep a healthy body throughout pregnancy, losing the weight afterwards can still be an uphill battle.

• Breastfeed. Breastfeeding is healthy for your baby, and it also burns calories. Don't use it as an excuse for a free-for-all diet though. Eating healthy combined with breastfeeding can speed your weight loss.


• Make time to eat right. When I was a brand new mom, it was fast food and frozen dinners for the first month or so. I had no time to cook, and the hubby was working hard and hungry when he came home. So, we did what was easy. I think this was where I got off to such a slow start in my weight loss journey. All the breastfeeding in the world won't make up for Big Macs, Taco Bell, and frozen lasagnas night after night. Make healthy casseroles on the weekend when you have help that will last you a few days. Pasta also keeps for awhile, so make a lot of spaghetti or pasta salad. You can also freeze individual portions of meals you make on the weekend to microwave and eat throughout the week.


• Walk, walk, walk. New moms typically don't have time or energy to hit the gym 3 times a week. So put your baby in a carrier or stroller and get walking. It's a great way to exercise and get out of the house and do something. If walking doesn't yeild quick enough results and you are fit enough, try jogging. You'll need a jogging stroller for that, as typical strollers don't have enough shock absorbtion.


• Set goals, but be realistic. My son was born in October. I thought I would be back in my skinny jeans by Christmas. Was I ever disappointed. I'm happy to say that I am now, 9 months later, in my skinny jeans, and only 6 pounds away from my goal. Also, be flexible. Eat healthy and the scale and your jeans will reward you...eventually. Don't give up, but don't starve yourself either in a rush to get thin. Lose the weight gradually and be healthy. This will also help you keep the weight off.

1st Birthday Ideas

Why Bother for a 1 yr Old?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about birthday parties, as my little man is just a couple months away from his first one. A lot of people seem to think that parties at this age are just for the parents since the babies won't remember. I think there are a lot of great reasons to have a big party for a first birthday.

It's a huge milestone, and though your baby won't know what's going on or remember, a 1st birthday party provides a lot of opportunities for photo and video memories. Time goes by so fast, you should take every opportunity to celebrate milestones and record memories.

Birthday parties are also a great way to form a circle of friends for you child who are about his/her age. My son doesn't have a lot of baby friends, so I'm going to take the opportunity for his 1st birthday to invite some of my acquaintances who have children around his age. Hopefully invites to their parties, and playdates will arise from this, and I can respark some old friendships in the process.

Themes
Do you even need a theme for a birthday party? Absolutely not. Any get together with hats, cake, and presents is a fun enough occasion. Many parents, myself included, have more fun planning a theme party. They certainly don't need to be complex at this age, however.

A zoo theme is a lot of fun and you can get creative planning it. Make zookeeper passes for the invitations. Get ahold of some animals for the kids to pet. Obviously you don't need an elephant. If you know people with goats, ponies, snakes, rabbits, etc... these are great animals to have. They are different from regular dogs and cats, but common enough that you should be able to track some down. There are places which rent these types of animals for parties as well, if you're willing to pay. Gift bags can be decorated with different animals- zebras, lions, tigers, etc... Go wild with it and have fun!

TV shows are another option for themes. Dora the Explorer and Sesame Street are just a couple of ideas. Even though your baby probably doesn't "watch" these shows, they make fun themes. I know my son always perks up when he hears the Plaza Sesamo (Spanish Sesame Street) song start to play. We watch a few kids' shows (English and Spanish to expose him to foreign languages early) on weekends, and that's his favorite song. Your baby might have one too that you've noticed- go with it.

You can also go with simpler themes, such as primary colors. Party supplies will be much cheaper than if you go with something like Dora, but the atmosphere will still be fun and festive. Or you can choose one animal for a theme- maybe from your baby's favorite toy or stuffed animal- moneys, teddy bears, cows, puppies, or whatever.

Enjoy
My number one tip is to enjoy the party. Don't get so hung up on coordinating details that you miss out on precious moments of your baby's special day. The cake will get messy, streamers will fall and balloons will pop. Let it go, and focus on your son/daughter on that day. You don't want to miss a thing.

Dogs with Small Children

When checking out some Web sites with top family dog lists, I came across this one. These are the top ten on the list:

1. Newfoundland





2. Pug


3. American staffordshire terrier (mislabled on the Site as a Staffordshire bull terrier)
   
4. Labrador retriever


5. Keeshond


6. Golden retriever


7. Collie
   
8. Standard poodle


9. Bernese mountain dog


10. English bulldog (they don't specify English or American, but the picture shown is an English)

I have some big issues with this list. Let's start with the pug. Pugs absolutely do NOT belong in homes with small children. While they are not agressive, their prominent eyes are very vulnerable to injury from the prodding of toddlers' fingers. I am glad to see that the staffordshire popped up on most of the family breed lists I came across. They are not the same breed as pit bull terriers (which are not all bad anyways), and definately deserve consideration. I have no experience personally with keeshonds, but have heard good things. Collies are not all Lassie. Their coat requires a great deal of maintenance which busy families may not be able to provide. These dogs also have a tendancy to be yappy, which can be frustrating with babies/children napping during the day. Bernese mountain dogs have fantastic dispositions, but with a thick double coat, they are unsuitable for warm climates, and shed profusely. As strong willed working dogs, they require a good deal more training than most families have the time to do.

My own top 5 would look something like this:

1. Standard Poodle- I was shocked to see the poodle fall so low on many top 10 lists. They are hypoallergenic- a BIG plus in a lot of families, but do require regular professional grooming as the coat does not stop growing. A lamb or puppy cut is a great way to keep your poodle's coat if they are not to be shown. They have great dispositions with lots of patience, but are also playful and lively to entertain older children. They were originally a sporting dog, but since this heritage is so far removed, they lack the persistant need for stimulation that many family dogs (such as labs) retain. A poodle will be happy curled up on the couch watching soap operas, or chasing the kids around outside. A wonderfully versatile breed, the standard poodle is my top pic.



2. Golden/Labrador Retriever- This one is a toss-up between the two. My personal preference as the proud mama to a yellow lab is obviously the labrador. The golden, however, seems to be a bit quieter than the lab, as well as less needy. If you own a labrador, it will be in your lap a large portion of the time or dropping a tennis balls at your feet constantly. A golden will doubtless want to play, but may be less persistant, and happily lie down if you ignore him. Both dogs shed quite a bit, but the hair of the golden is much more visable on your floors, and a golden will need more regular grooming as well as occasional trimming.




3. English Bulldog- Quick! Somebody on drool patrol! English bulldogs are a jolly and good natured breed, and although it won't bother the kids, the drooling can bother some adults. These dogs don't have the activity level to suit many active families, but for those who don't want a labrador retreiver roaring through the house knocking over everything in sight, an English bulldog is a great, couch potato dog.



4. Pembroke Welsh Corgi- The corgi is a great fit for families who want a smaller dog. Many small dogs are fragile and can be nippy with rough children. The corgi, however, is a great fit for families with children of all ages and is hardy enough to put up with rough playtime (though children should always be supervised with any dog).



5. Mixed breed- This one might really belong at the top of the list. Mixes are often very good family dogs. Usually mutts inherit the best personality traits of both parents. I had 2 mixed breed dogs growing up, and own a mixed breed now who is fantastic with my 9 month old, and has been since day 1. They tend to have very high pain tolerences and lot of patience. If you adopt a dog from a shelter, be sure to perform some basic behavioral tests to ensure that the dog is suitable. Many dogs who have suffered abuse or neglect have issues that make them dangerous around small children.

Remember that all dogs have their limits. No young child should ever be left unsupervised with a dog of any size. Socialization and basic training, even with little dogs, is crucial to ensuring that your dog is able to be the best family member which he/she can be.

Boredom with a Baby

If you're like a lot of new stay-at-home moms, you probably spend a good portion of the day trying to keep your baby entertained with the same old toys in the same rooms as you did every other day. You're not the only one who becomes bored with the routine. Babies get bored too. That toy that was brand new 3 days ago has lost its thrill, and you're at a loss as to how to keep your child interested in his/her toys and away from the things he shouldn't be playing with- dog toys, magazines, etc...

Outings

But where can you take a baby? They can't do anything. A trip to the park or playground might seem pointless as your little one is too small for the slide and monkey bars. Even if your baby can't play on any of the equipment, he or she will probably get a big kick out of watching the other children running around, screaming, and playing.

Walking is a fantastic way to not only burn calories, but also entertain your bundle of joy. Front baby carriers such as this one and wraps/slings like the Moby wrap work wonderfully for small infants. Framed backpack style carriers are great for older babies who will enjoy the bird's eye view that they have from these. Make sure to dress your baby appropriately for the weather- including a hat and sunscreen. If you're out of shape, walking is a good way to get back into shape. Just start with short distances, and you'll learn to enjoy the time you spend with baby enjoying nature together.

Making the Most of Toys

Obviously, you can't buy your baby new toys every time he/she loses interest in the current selection. What you can do, however, is keep things fresh. Make use of a toy chest or closet space to put his/her toys on a rotating basis. When boredom sets in, hide the old toys and bring out some toys from storage that he/she hasn't seen in awhile. Although, they aren't brand new, they are exciting as little one hasn't seen them in a few weeks. I keep about two or three fun electronic toys in my son's toy chest, giving him only one at a time. This toy is in addition to the smaller toys (blocks, balls, cars, and trucks) that he gets to play with every day. I change out the exciting toy once per week or so, and it keeps him more entertained than if he had access to all of them all of the time.

Amazing Obstetrician

So, check this out!

I could only dream of having an obstetrician who was this caring and open minded. My own ob was terrific and I love her. But she is like most doctors-set in her ways. I never thought to ask about pitocin at one of my appointments.

I figured if my labor stalled or I needed an induction, the topic would arise. I never thought that the virtual moment I walked into my LDR room I'd be started on a drip. The nurse typed in my info, checked my cervix, started me on iv fluids, and strapped the monitor on. Once I had a few contractions, the nurse told me they would give me a little pitocin, just to "tighten my contractions up to 2-3 min apart" as opposed to the respectable 3-5 which they had been. I tried to protest, citing that I'd rather walk if my contractions needed upping. Nononononono, I was told. I was to lie there so that they could get good readings on the baby and make sure he was responding well. Basically, "don't rock the boat." The nurse assured me that once my contractions got going they could taper me off of the pitocin. Ok...... A few hours later I found my pitocin being upped by the second shift nurse. At this point, has my doctor even seen me? No, but apparently my labor isn't hopping along fast enough. Will definately be making a point to discuss this issue early on with the next pregnancy.

I thought obs who believed in hypnosis, and labor without epidurals in general were just like unicorns- nice to imagine, but not real. It makes me think about finding another doctor. I do love my doctor. She's very nice, makes a point to ask me if I have questions, and even prods me if I don't ask much. She was very encouraging during the actual delivery, and checked up on me quite a few times after the birth. Not to mention, almost all of my female family members go to her and she attends my parents' church, so if I ever felt I had to switch...yikes!

So, what have your own childbirth experiences been like? Did your ob or midwife handle your pre-natal, labor/delivery, and postnatal care in a way that you liked? What would you have changed?

Natural Sex Selection

I recently purchased the book How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby which outlines the Shettles method to gender selection. The basic premise is that male sperm (XY) are smaller and quicker to reach the egg than female sperm (XX). XX sperm are larger, and therefore, hardier and longer lived than their male counterparts.

The Race is On
According to this theory, if a couple has sex on ovulation day, or very close to it, the chances are very high that one of the quick little male sperm will reach the egg first, and a boy will be conceived. If a couple has sex a few days in advance of ovulation, the male sperm will exhaust themselves and die off after a day or two of hard swimming. This will leave a higher concentration of stronger XX sperm waiting when the egg is released. The chances of conceiving a girl will be much higher in this scenerio.

Acidity Factor
Another big factor in determining which sperm have the advantage is the acidity level of the environment (vagina). Shettles argues that male sperm (being smaller and weaker) have less tolerance for a highly acidic environment than the larger female sperm. They prefer an alkaline space. How is this achieved? Female orgasm. If the woman orgasms during sex before the man does, her vagina will be more welcoming to male sperm. If the woman does not orgasm, the environment will be far more acidic. This will favor the female sperm, making conception of a girl more likely.

Personal Experience
The Shettles method makes a lot of sense to me. We used an ovulation prediction kit when conceiving our son. This pinpoints the hormone surge which precedes ovulation by a day or two. We waited to attempt to conceive that cycle until the hormone surge was detected. This means that the sperm were depositited fairly close to when I was going to ovulate. Viola! We conceived a boy!
I'm not sure if we're going to use the Shettles method or not for our next attempt at conception (whenever that may be). We would love to have multiple boys, but a girl next in line would be comforting. That way, knowing we had one of each, we wouldn't care if the 3rd was a boy or girl. As much as I love my son, I really would rather not have 3 boys. We'll get what we're meant to have, so I don't know if we can really control anything anyway. If the Lord wants me to have all boys, I'll have all boys, and if I'm to have 2 girls and a boy, or 2 boys and a girl, than that's what will happen. The book has been interesting, though, and I've enjoyed reading it.

MMRV Vaccine Linked to Febrile Seizures

photo: flickr by Salim Virji

I've already made my thoughts on America's vaccination policy known, but this latest tidbit which I've been made aware of takes the cake. As I am not currently vaccinating my son, I was unaware that an MMR/Varicella combo vaccine was even available. After reading about it straight from the CDC Web site, I wonder why in the world that it is. The MMR vaccine is controversial enough without adding a fourth component. But here we go...

More Side Effects

The MMRV shot comes with an increased risk for fever and rash, with 1 out of 5 vaccinated children suffering these side effects. Rash doesn't worry me too much, but fever is often a more serious matter than physicians lead parents to believe. The most serious issue related to fever is the risk of seizures and related brain damage.

Febrile Seizures

Those who receive the MMR have higher risk for febrile (fever induced) seizures than unvaccinated kids, but the MMRV poses twice the risk of the MMR alone. The Varicella vaccine by itself has not been shown to cause febrile seizures. Here's what the CDC says about febrile seizures:

Although febrile seizures can be frightening for the child's caregivers,
most are harmless. The majority of children who have febrile seizures recover
quickly and have no lasting effects.

Where are the statistics? What the heck does "most" mean? Do you mean that 51 out of 100 children will have no lasting effects, or 10 out of 100? I wonder how parents of children who have suffered permanent brain damage thanks to a vaccine related seizure feel upon reading these words. I can't help but feel as though the CDC is trying to pat me on the head and tell me to trust them. On what planet are seizures of any kind not a big deal???

Here are the most recent MMRV recommendations from the CDC.

Why do We Need MMRV?

If the MMR vaccine works just fine and has half the risk of MMRV, and the Varicella vaccine has no risk, than why are we combining them and upping the risk? What's wrong with 2 shots instead of one if it is safer for our babies?

Be advised that this next statement comes from a highly jaded, government distrusting, conspiracy warey, and insanely protective mother. They're trying to hog tie us into an all or nothing vaccine. Moms are getting more involved and more informed. We know that we can choose which vaccines are appropriate for our kids. This is terrifying the pharmacutical companies. Drug companies have already stopped producing seperate measles, mumps, and rubella vaccines, so that parents are forced to give all or nothing to their kids. Now, they are on a mission to force us to vaccinate for chicken pox (typically harmless childhood sickness) too if we want MMR coverage. Personally, I think chicken pox poses less of a threat to my child than seizures do, but hey, maybe I'm crazy. The drug companies want their money, and they've got the CDC doing all the dirty work. The big drug companies don't care if a few casualties happen on the way to their paychecks. The government protects them as patients are not allowed to sue drug manufacturers due to any vaccine related side effects.

Oh, my. I'm getting a bit worked up, aren't I? Enough of my ranting...

What Do You Think?

The Ins and Outs, Dos and Don'ts of Flying with an Infant

photo: flickr by Kossy@FINEDAYS'

I like to think that my son has become quite the little veteran at taking plane rides. His first flight took place at 2 1/2

weeks old. I wouldn't advise exposing a newborn to all the germs of an airplane flight, but we were moving, and it was necessary. We took an hour and a half flight, followed by a 2 hour flight. His next experience was at 5 months of age. We took a 45 minute flight, followed by a nearly 3 hour flight, then the same for the trip home. We'll be flying again in about 2 weeks. Here are some tips I've picked up along the way...

1. This one is absolutely critical. Book a morning flight. Always, always, always fly in the morning with an infant. My husband and I made the mistake of taking a flight which did not land until around 10 pm. As good as your baby might be, do NOT mess with bedtime routines. Our son screamed his lungs out for 20 minutes before finally falling asleep on that flight. Meanwhile, on morning/afternoon trips, he has happily played and napped through them.



2. Be prepared to nurse or bottle feed on demand. My baby has never showed discomfort from the pressure change, but some babies have a harder time. If your little one likes a pacifier, be sure to bring a few. If breastfeeding, don't forget a nursing cover to provide modesty while nursing in such close quarters.



3. Bring quiet toys. A little noise is ok- rattles and keys are a lot of fun to bang on the tray. A giggling Elmo or constantly singing stuffed animal, however, may be much more bothersome to other passengers. If your baby needs this, though, use them, because no toy noise is as bad as a fussing baby.



4. If baby gets bored with the toys you brought (I recommend packing one or two brand new ones) ask the flight attendant for a plastic cup. It is something new and interesting that may at least entertain your little one for the time being.



5. Relax. There is a real possibility that your child will have meltdown if your flight is of any substantial length. Babies cry- it's just what they do. How you handle yourself is much more important. Take deep breaths and try not to let your baby sense any stress you're feeling. Ignore glares from other passengers. Most of the time, however, other travelers are sympathetic rather than judgemental. Just do what you would normally do around your own house to calm him/her. Walk the aisle if you're able. Sing a lullabye. If nothing works, just wait out the storm. Despite what you may think they don't scream forever. Other passengers can just get over it.