Infant Essentials

My first child will be turning 2 in a few short months. Reflecting, I've been thinking about all of the money we've wasted, and what I will do differently with our next baby. The following is based on my opinion and experiences only; everyone's needs will be different I'm sure. This is a list of which infant products I found necessary, and which were rather a waste of money.

Sleep Products

• Bassinet- This one is a toss up. We used ours every night. But with him sleeping in the room with us in his bassinet, he woke up every time we stirred. This led ultimately to moving the bassinet into the hallway, and then switching him to his crib at 3 months. I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier just to cosleep for breastfeeding's sake, then switch him to a crib as he began to sleep longer stretches.




• Receiving blankets- Definitely a waste of money for us. Our son was such an active sleeper that he kicked out of our tightest swaddles.




• SwaddleMe Infant Wrap- Though we couldn't use regular receiving blankets, our son still needed swaddling to keep from startling awake frequently. These velcro fastening swaddle wraps were indespensible. They held him nice and snuggly, but the stretchy cotton material was light and breathable. We used these until he was 3 1/2 months, and only quit then because he began flipping from back to front on his own and tummy sleeping. Definately a recommended product!




• Crib- I made use of my crib, but if you're co-sleeping you may not feel the need for it. It is always nice to have one if you decide that co-sleeping is not working out. If you can borrow one from a friend or relative, that's a great option. Just make sure that the crib is up to current safety regulations.

Nursing/Feeding

• Boppy Pillow-MUST HAVE! Makes nursing and bottle feeding worlds more comfortable. I used mine until he was about 12 months. Some people argue that regular pillows are just as useful. Nope, not true. Regular pillows will bunch and scoot away from your body as baby nestles close to your tummy. The next thing you know, the pillow is on your knees and baby's on your lap wondering how he fell off of your breast. I loved my boppy- you will too!


• Lansinoh- Lansinoh cream is a Godsend those first few weeks of nursing. Buy a big tube of that stuff and apply it after every feeding. It doesn't stop your nipples from drying out, cracking, bleeding ect... but it sure makes them feel better after your piranah's been chomping on them.


• bottle drying rack- I nursed and supplemented. I just dried my bottles on a dish towel early on. You don't need a drying rack, but mine was useful so that the bottles don't knock over if you accidentally brush them.


• breast pump- Useful if you want to go anywhere without your baby for the first 6 months, but not essential. A cheap manual pump is your best option for these occasional pumps for the babysitter. Medela is a good brand to go with for electric pumps. My Medela single had much more power than my cheaper Lansinoh brand double pump that I got later.
  

Play and Entertainment

• Swing- Our son didn't use his swing often, so it was a bit of a waste. That's not to say that subsequent children will not get enjoyment out of it, however. I'd recommend getting a swing, but not a pricey over-the-top one. Colicky babies tend to enjoy the motion, though our own rarely accepted the swing as a suitable alternative to mommy's arms in the glider.




• Bouncer seat- I did not have one of these with my son, but I do plan on buying one for my next child. It's nice that you can move them easily and keep the little one close- whether in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, or wherever.




• Pricey plastic toys-Definately, don't waste too much money on these. Infants are as happy chewing on a plastic kitchen spoon as they are on that $15 chewable plastic toy that you found at Babies-R-Us.

Travel Essentials

• Infant car seat- Though with convertibles accomodating kids from 5 lbs to 100 lbs these days, you don't really need an infant car seat. I would absolutely use one again though. It is sooooo nice to be able to transport sleeping baby from car to house without waking him. Just unlatch the car seat, bring it inside, and put the seat in his crib to let him sleep for another few hours. Heaven :)




• Baby carriers and wraps- These are indispensible. I used a tummy facing regular soft carrier like this one from the time my son was 6 weeks up until he was about 6 months. At that point it became too much of a back strain. This product was easy to get him in and out of, but just not good for larger babies as there is no real weight distribution across the back. That's when I discovered baby wraps. You don't have to shell out $50 to $100 or more on a brand name like Moby or Maya, either. I used the Ultimate Baby Wrap and still do for my guy. It's lighter material than the Moby, so it is better suited for warm climates, giving a t-shirt type feeling. It's very comfortable, and one of the most affordable wraps at around $30 depending upon what vender you shop.

I guess I've been weeding through my son's outgrown clothes and toys trying to figure out what to box up for next time, what he still uses, and what's ready for the garbage. Babies have so much stuff; they certainly don't need it all. If you can save yourself some money, by all means do it where you can. Baby will be happy playing with balled up aluminum foil and a wooden spoon after all. Is there anything you kick yourself for wasting money on? Or do you really wish you had bought that certain something that you don't have and feel you needed?

Cesarean Sections and the Home Birth Option

Home births are on the rise in America. Among white women, the number of women giving birth at home rose by 28% between the years 2004 and 2008 following a steady 15 year decline. Why is this happening? Is this an encouraging trend or unsafe?

Why Women are Electing Home Births

With the current cesarean rate in the US climbing well over 30%, there is clearly something wrong with our current system of delivering babies. To put this number in perspective, if you are in the emergency room with 2 other laboring women, chances are that one of you will undergo a c-section. This certainly frightens me. Although there are many reasons why a cesarean may be recommended, many medical professionals link excessive medical interventions with a rise in c-section rates.

Medical interventions refer to routine administration of epidurals and pitocin which are both linked to changes in baby's heartrate. Epidurals can also slow labor which leads to what doctors lable as "failure to progress" as they roll you into the OR. Another hinderance to labor is when you are strapped to monitors and forced to lie in bed during labor so that nurses can keep a good watch on baby's condition. These interventions and excessive monitoring are not even shown to improve health of newborns. For this reason, women are turning to birthing centers and home births under midwife care for a more natural approach.

Is it a Good Thing?

Is it really safe to give birth at home outside of a doctor's care and away from emergency facilities? Newborn death is 2 to 3 times more likely at home births than at hospital births. Even with this scarey sounding jump, the rate is still only 1 in 1,000, which is not a big number according to Aaron Coughey, M.D., Phd. The bottom line is that the caesarean rate is an unacceptable trend that mothers are now choosing to reject. Most low-risk mothers will deliver successfully at home for less cost and less risk for complications than in a hospital. Unless hospital and doctor procedures change drastically, the rate of home births is going to continue rising. It is currently at about a half of a percent in the US. In the UK, the rate is 2% across the country with some areas having much higher rates. Torbay, for example has a rate of 20%.

Personally...

I think that home birth is a great option for low-risk women who live a short distance from a hospital. I would love to try it if I didn't live an hour from the nearest hospital. Birth centers are a wonderful alternative for those of us who are disgusted with the over-medicalization of birth in hospitals. They are convenient to hospitals usually and have all the emergency equipment and qualified staff that you need- the comforts of home plus some extra safety. C-sections have their place, and they do save countless lives of moms and babies. 30% of the population, however, is NOT incapable of vaginal births. We need to remember that birth is not a procedure to be gotten over with as quickly and conveniently as possible. Birth is a natural process that has been going on for a lot longer than monitors and pain killing drugs have been around. We can be safe in delivery without destroying God's perfect design for bringing people into the world. What do you think? Have you given birth in just hospitals? Are you open to alternative venues?

The Big Boy Bed

At just about 19 months of age, we have transitioned the little guy to his first big boy bed. Sleep patterns have not been good the last month. He rapidly switched from 10 hour stretches in his crib to up for bottles and cuddles multiple times per night. Struggling with this for awhile, one night it occurred to me. Maybe he wants to be a big kid.

The Bed

A week later we were taking down the crib and setting up a twin mattress. We just put the mattress on the floor to avoid any spills. We decorated it with bright red sheets and a comforter starring his favorite character Thomas the Tank Engine.

It was an instant hit. He kept dragging us back to his room the rest of the evening to flop and jump on his new bed. We also installed a baby gate to keep him from nighttime wanderings. But, we still weren't sure it would work. I hoped, but hubby was downright doubtful that it would make a difference.

The First Night

The first night we followed our usual routine with a story and then a prayer. I laid him in his bed with his head on the pillow and kissed him goodnight. I walked toward the door and heard him start to fuss. "It's going to be a long night," I thought as I latched the gate and closed the door most of the way. I headed down the hall listening to mild fussing. 30 seconds later, it was quiet. A half hour later, I peeked in and saw, to my joy, my little boy sound asleep in the middle of his big boy bed.

How We're Doing Now

Starting the second night of the big bed, he has been falling asleep as soon as I lay him down with no fussing. He sleeps for 5 hour stretches, then needs comfort or a bottle to fall back to sleep. Last night we did our first cold turkey elimination of the bottle. Sure, his daddy and I were in there for an hour and a half at 3:30 am listening to screaming before he finally fell back to sleep. I am hoping, however, that our efforts will pay off with a longer stretch of sleep tonight. I hope he can learn to fall back to sleep on his own soon. It will mean better quality sleep for everybody! Wish us luck....

One Year Later

It's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since my son came into the world. We celebrated his birthday at the park surrounded by family and friends. He's the light of our lives, and I am treasuring every moment, because time is flying by so quickly.

Accomplishments

• First steps- about a week after his first birthday.


• Talking- "mama" "dada" "bye-bye" "kiss" "baw (ball)"


• Crawling-army style at 5 months, all fours by 9 months


• Throwing a ball- 11 months


• Rolling a ball- 9 months


• Stacking blocks- 11 months


• Waving bye-bye and gesturing come here- 10-11 months


• Playing in the swimming pool- 6 months; now it's his favorite thing

These are just a handful of the things my boy has been up to this past year. It's amazing how much change has taken place to get my helpless infant with no vocabulary, head control, or expressions to where he is today- a confident, happy, healthy, playful little boy.

A New Start

I've been unplugged from blogging for the last few months as we've been involved in a cross country move. Now that we're semi-settled, I'll be happy to continue to share advice and adventures as frequently as permitted. We're living close to family again, and the joy that surrounds our son is such a beautiful thing.

The Re-birth of the Stay at Home Mother

In the 1960's when women were so bravely fighting for equality in the workplace, I'm sure none would have imagined the next generation's response. Women's participation in the workforce has climbed steadily from 40.8% in 1970 to its peak of 57.5% in 2000 according to US Bureau of Labor stats. What happened after the year 2000, however, has been a steady rise in mothers choosing to abandon the workforce to raise children. The percentage of stay at home moms has risen by 15% in less than 10 years. That's quite a statement

So what does it mean? Modern moms are realizing that the power driven business world can't replace or erase their natural instincts to love and nurture their offspring. Some women overcome this hinderance to have fulfilling work and family lives. I'm not knocking it, as my own mom was a terrific working mom. Should women have the option to work and make fortunes? Of course they should, but it shouldn't be a requirement. More and more women are realizing that they are not backwards for desiring hearth and home above the workplace.

So, are we all June Cleavers? Some would spread this notion. This CBS 60 Minutes report discusses how stay at home moms are failing to use their capacities and that this is detrimental to society. These moms are not uneducated, but intellegent, well-educated, successful women who apparently are screwing up the world by choosing to raise children. Really, CBS, really?

Are we really disrespecting the previous generation? Or are we learning and growing- expanding upon what they've done even if taking it in a different direction? There will always be women in positions of power. The broader culture, however, is realizing that we don't all have to be suit-wearing, ball-busting, empowered women to find purpose and fulfilment in life. Maybe it's closer than our foremothers could have imagined- in our childrens' smiles.

Keeping a Healthy Weight During and After Pregnancy

There is no set amount of weight that women need to gain to grow a healthy baby. I started my pregnancy at a healthy, normal bmi. My obstetrician told me that between 20 and 30 pounds is what I needed to gain. Meanwhile, at 36 weeks gestation, at a weight gain of 18 pounds, my maternal fetal specialist sent a note to my ob that I was not gaining enough weight. She told me to ignore that comment, as my baby was measuring completely normal, and I'm the one who has to tote around all the unnecessary(non baby related) lbs.My total weight gain up to 38 weeks when I delivered was 24 pounds, and this yeilded a 6 lb 3 oz baby. That's on the small end, but if he had finished baking and stayed put until the full 40 weeks, I would have had a perfectly average 7 pounder.

I think appropriate weight gain has a lot to do with the kind of body condition you have when you become pregnant. If you're underweight, you should attempt to acheive a healthy weight before conceiving. I needed a healthy weight because I lost 10 pounds the first trimester. If you're already thin, you don't have a buffer in case you do get sick and lose weight. You also want to make sure that you gain healthy weight.

Overweight women need to get into shape before pregnancy. Pregnancy is hard enough on your feet and back without extra weight. Maintaining a healthy weight also makes conception easier.

Even if you eat healthy and exercise, keep a healthy body throughout pregnancy, losing the weight afterwards can still be an uphill battle.

• Breastfeed. Breastfeeding is healthy for your baby, and it also burns calories. Don't use it as an excuse for a free-for-all diet though. Eating healthy combined with breastfeeding can speed your weight loss.


• Make time to eat right. When I was a brand new mom, it was fast food and frozen dinners for the first month or so. I had no time to cook, and the hubby was working hard and hungry when he came home. So, we did what was easy. I think this was where I got off to such a slow start in my weight loss journey. All the breastfeeding in the world won't make up for Big Macs, Taco Bell, and frozen lasagnas night after night. Make healthy casseroles on the weekend when you have help that will last you a few days. Pasta also keeps for awhile, so make a lot of spaghetti or pasta salad. You can also freeze individual portions of meals you make on the weekend to microwave and eat throughout the week.


• Walk, walk, walk. New moms typically don't have time or energy to hit the gym 3 times a week. So put your baby in a carrier or stroller and get walking. It's a great way to exercise and get out of the house and do something. If walking doesn't yeild quick enough results and you are fit enough, try jogging. You'll need a jogging stroller for that, as typical strollers don't have enough shock absorbtion.


• Set goals, but be realistic. My son was born in October. I thought I would be back in my skinny jeans by Christmas. Was I ever disappointed. I'm happy to say that I am now, 9 months later, in my skinny jeans, and only 6 pounds away from my goal. Also, be flexible. Eat healthy and the scale and your jeans will reward you...eventually. Don't give up, but don't starve yourself either in a rush to get thin. Lose the weight gradually and be healthy. This will also help you keep the weight off.

1st Birthday Ideas

Why Bother for a 1 yr Old?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about birthday parties, as my little man is just a couple months away from his first one. A lot of people seem to think that parties at this age are just for the parents since the babies won't remember. I think there are a lot of great reasons to have a big party for a first birthday.

It's a huge milestone, and though your baby won't know what's going on or remember, a 1st birthday party provides a lot of opportunities for photo and video memories. Time goes by so fast, you should take every opportunity to celebrate milestones and record memories.

Birthday parties are also a great way to form a circle of friends for you child who are about his/her age. My son doesn't have a lot of baby friends, so I'm going to take the opportunity for his 1st birthday to invite some of my acquaintances who have children around his age. Hopefully invites to their parties, and playdates will arise from this, and I can respark some old friendships in the process.

Themes
Do you even need a theme for a birthday party? Absolutely not. Any get together with hats, cake, and presents is a fun enough occasion. Many parents, myself included, have more fun planning a theme party. They certainly don't need to be complex at this age, however.

A zoo theme is a lot of fun and you can get creative planning it. Make zookeeper passes for the invitations. Get ahold of some animals for the kids to pet. Obviously you don't need an elephant. If you know people with goats, ponies, snakes, rabbits, etc... these are great animals to have. They are different from regular dogs and cats, but common enough that you should be able to track some down. There are places which rent these types of animals for parties as well, if you're willing to pay. Gift bags can be decorated with different animals- zebras, lions, tigers, etc... Go wild with it and have fun!

TV shows are another option for themes. Dora the Explorer and Sesame Street are just a couple of ideas. Even though your baby probably doesn't "watch" these shows, they make fun themes. I know my son always perks up when he hears the Plaza Sesamo (Spanish Sesame Street) song start to play. We watch a few kids' shows (English and Spanish to expose him to foreign languages early) on weekends, and that's his favorite song. Your baby might have one too that you've noticed- go with it.

You can also go with simpler themes, such as primary colors. Party supplies will be much cheaper than if you go with something like Dora, but the atmosphere will still be fun and festive. Or you can choose one animal for a theme- maybe from your baby's favorite toy or stuffed animal- moneys, teddy bears, cows, puppies, or whatever.

Enjoy
My number one tip is to enjoy the party. Don't get so hung up on coordinating details that you miss out on precious moments of your baby's special day. The cake will get messy, streamers will fall and balloons will pop. Let it go, and focus on your son/daughter on that day. You don't want to miss a thing.